Sonic DA Hedgehog!
by Cataclyptic
Summary: In a world where NOTHING makes sense... join sonic, tails, knuckles, and all the rest of the cast in this random fic about sonics miscelanious adventures! from chaos emeralds, to censored stuff, to anything else! who knows what will happen next? Discontinued.
1. How to play Strip Poker

_**BOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!**_

"Give us back that Chaos emerald, Eggman!" Sonic yelled. Sonic, Tails and Knuckles had just broken into the main room of Eggmans newest base. When the smoke cleared, Eggman wasn't there.

"Huhn?!?! Where is he!?!?" Knuckles said.

"Lets try another room!" Sonic said.

_Later…_

_**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!**_

"Give us back that chaos emerald Eggman!!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKK A PERVERT!!!!!!!!!!!" They all blushed and quickly closed the door.

"I didn't know Eggman could attract ANY girls!" Sonic said. "Even ones as fat as she was!"

"Hey sonic," Tails said. "Why do boys and girls look different naked???" Sonic and knuckles stammered as they tried to explain 'The talk' to Tails.

"W-Well, uh, boys and girls have t-to… uh because well…" Knuckles started out. "Uh… you see uh… Babies… no I mean uh, they,… Uh…"

"W-What Knuckles is trying to say is um…" Sonic said. Tails looked on at sonic, waiting for the answer.

_Damn! How the hell am I going to tell tails something like THIS? I- I need to make something up, he's too young to know the truth… but what…… AHA! I KNOW!!!_

"Well you see Tails, girls have a genetic distorder…"_ Boy I hope this works…_

"THEY DO!?!?!?!" Tails practically screamed.

"Uh, yeah, sure… um its determined from birth and uh… it makes them not grow 'packages'. Understand?" Tails began to look very sad.

"I feel so sorry for Cream…" Sonic tried to look for a way to cover this up but then Knuckles said

"ALRIGHT!!! LETS BREAK DOWN THIS DOOR AND CRUSH EGGMAN!!!!

_**BOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_

"Hand over that Chaos emerald Eggman!" this time, Eggman was really there.

"You fools!!! I have no Chaos emerald!!!"

"… You don't?" Sonic said.

"NO!!!!! AND WERE YOU THE IDIOTS WHO PEEPED IN ON MY MOTHER!?!!?"

"Well, you see that was an accident- you live with your mom??"

"Yes. Why?" All three began to laugh hard

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HE LIVES WITH HIS MOM!!!!!!!!"

"SILENCE YOU IDIOTS!!!! YOU WILL PAY!!!!- BEHOLD, MY LATEST CREATION!!!!" Eggman held up a ray gun.

"Say hello to the disintegrator ray!!!" Eggman pulled the trigger. The gun disintegrated.

……………..

"Damn these puns!!!" Eggman said as he ran away. But after taking two steps, he started huffing and puffing.

"I'll be fit in no time!" Eggman said as he did his two step run to get away from Sonic. Meanwhile, Sonic walked over to Knuckles.

"Say Knuckles, if we didn't come for a Chaos emerald, why did we come here." Knuckles thought for awhile.

"OH! I remember now! We came to play strip poker with Shadow, Rouge and Omega!"

"Oh yeah!!" Sonic said. "This will be good…

* * *

Shadows version of strip poker involves actual stripping. If you lose a hand, you take off one article of clothing. And for Omega's case, armor._

* * *

Later…._

_**BOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!**_

"Knuckles, why the hell do you have to punch doors instead of opening them?"

"LOOK!!!! IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE WAY I WORK, JUST SAY SO!!!!"

"Okay… I hate the way you work…"

"SCREW YOU SONIC!!!!!!"

"Hey, keep it down!" It was Shadow. He was sitting next to Rouge and Omega in a triangle formation "Oh it's you guys. You're kind of late… but feel free to watch us. Sonic and Knuckles sat down. They left Tails with the doctor computer because he was not old enough to play this game. Nor did he understand the concept.

_Later…_

Sonic looked around. So far, the game was progressing smoothly. Shadow had not lost any hands at all. Omega had to take off both his arms because he lost two hands. But Rouge was only down to two articles of clothing. Her underwear and bra. If she lost one more hand…

Sonic blushed madly at the thought. Shadow noticed this as well.

"Well well well Rouge… one more hand, and you have to show us what your made of…if you know what I mean…"

Rouge sneered angrily at him. She knew exactly what he mean't. She and shadow were playing a one on one hand. If she lost, she had to strip. But Shadow did not wear clothes. So if she won…

Rouge blushed and smiled.

Rouge had two kings in her hand. She put out the rest down and drew again to get an extra two kings!

_YES!!!_ She thought. _Rouge, say hello to the best moment of your life…_

"Alright shadow, your time is up!" She layed down her five cards: Four kings and a jack. "Show us YOUR stuff, Shadow!"

"I don't think so Rouge!" Shadow layed down his cards: FIVE aces!

Rouge stared in fear. _NO!!! DAMMIT!!! HOW COULD HE GET A HAND AS GOOD AS THAT!!!!!_

"You know the drill, Rouge." Shadow smiled. All the boys in the room (Excluding Omega) leaned forward to see. Rouge blushed madly. She slowly began to take off her bra, but, before she removed it she said

"WAIT A MINUTE!!!!! YOU CAN'T HAVE FIVE ACES IN A DECK OF CARDS!!!!! YOU CHEATED!!!!!"

"Uh…No I didn't!" Shadow said.

"_YES. HE CHEATED__."_ Omega said "_HE USED CHAOS CONTROL TO WARP TIME AND SPACE TO GET THE EXTRA FOUR ACES."_

Rouge began to get very mad. Shadow took off at the speed of light, with Rouge after him.

"Well, that was fun!" Sonic said.

"_INDEED."_ Omega replied "_HOWEVER, I DO NOT LIKE THE CONCEPT OF STRIPPING VERY WELL."_

"You don't?" Sonic said "Why not?"

_"I SIMPLY AM NOT INTERESTED IN BIOLOGICAL SEXUAL PARTS."_

"Maybe you should find a female robot?" Knuckles suggested.

_"AN EXCELLENT IDEA.__ I WILL FINALLY HAVE A USE FOR THIS!"_ Omega held up a long pipe like object.

"What the heck is tha-

Sonic and Knuckles suddenly realized what it was.

_"GOODBYE, FRIENDS. WHEN NEXT WE MEET, I SHALL HAVE CURED MY URGINGS._

Omega zoomed off to god knows where.

"Lets find Tails and get out of here." Sonic said. Knuckles nodded his head.

_**BOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_

"Maybe I should have opened the door…" Sonic said. Suddenly, a high pitched voice rang out

"SOOOOOOONNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIICCCCCC!!!!!!!!!"

"HOLY #$!!!!!! ITS AMY!!!! RUNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!" Sonic began to run as fast as he could towards the opposite direction. Suddenly, a spike trap sprang down and killed Sonic.

"BWAHAHA!!!" Eggman said triumphantly. "My spike trap worked perfectly! I finally got Sonic!!!"

"Guess again, Eggman!!!" Sonic said as he came out of nowhere.

"WHAAAAA!?!?!?!?? BUT HOW!?!?!?!?" Eggman screamed.

"I used a shadow clone jutsu." Sonic simply replied.

"WHAT THE HELL?!!? THIS ISN'T NARUTO YOU IDIOT!!!!!!!!"

"It's not? whew good thing I didn't know that!" Suddenly, Amy jumped up and landed on Sonic.

"SONIC MY LOVE!!! AT LAST WE ARE TOGETHER!!!!" Amy began to make out with Sonic, but Sonic pushed her away and began running.

"Oh no you don't Sonic!" Amy grabbed the seven chaos emeralds and transformed into super Amy. "Chaos Control!" Amy instantly caught up to Sonic and began to kiss him at light speed. She turned to Knuckles.

"Can we have some privacy please!?" Knuckles ran off to find Tails as Amy began to snog Sonic again.

_Later…_

"This must be it." Knuckled said. There was a sign on the door that said computer room. Below that it said 'pull'.

"P-U-L-L." Knuckles read. "Hmm… I'm pretty sure that means 'Tails is in here'."

_**BOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!**_

Knuckles smashed the door open.

"Knuckles!"

"Tails! I found you!"

"Knuckles! Omega is hacking into the doctors computer!"

"Huh?" the mist from the explosion cleared and Knuckles saw Omega 'doing it' with the doctors mother computer.

"Uh… Tails… are you sure he's hacking?"

"Positive! He inserted a long, pipe like piece into an identical slot! He'll have it hacked in no time!"

Knuckles stared at Tails. Then at Omega.

"I guess it IS a female computer… come on Tails, lets go." Knuckles and Tails wnet out the hole that knuckles punched.

_"THIS FEELS SOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDD…"_ Omega said happily.

_The desert beside Eggmans base._

Knuckles and Tails were walking when they spotted Rouge (now fully clothed) standing atop a beaten up Shadow.

"Hey Rouge! I take it you found Shadow?"

"Oh yes. He has paid with his life."

"… you didn't kill him, did you?" Knuckles said in fear.

"No. I made it must worse for him… I nailed him in the spot…" Knuckles stood back in fear. Suddenly-

"Bwahahahaha!!! You fools will pay this time!!!" everyone looked up and saw Eggman in a giant flying sphere.

"Say hello to- THE EGG DEATH STAR!!!!"

"COPYER!!!!" a man in a black helmet with black clothes said. "THAT WAS OUR IDEA!!!"

Eggman blasted him to oblivion.

"This new craft is INVINCIBLE!!!!! It only has ONE weakness!"

"Whats that?" Knuckles said.

"Its only weakness is that it disintegrates when someone says the word 'murgelflurgel'!!!

The egg star distintigrated and Eggman started to fall.

"DAMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-

_**SPLAT!!!!!**_

Eggman landed on top of Shadow, who just woke up.

"Look, Doctor, I know you created me and all that, but I'm not into that kind of a relationship." Shadow kicked Eggman to who knows where.

"Whew! We did it!" Rouge said.

"YEAH!!!!" Knuckled replied.

"Eggman doesn't stand a chance!" Tails piped in.

"Yeah!" Shadow smiled. "Now that that's all over, who wants to play some strip poker!"

* * *

A/N: Please review and tell me what you think. 

due to popular response, this will be turned into a chapter story. go to my page to see how i update.


	2. One Peice of crap

_Sonic's__, Knuckles, and Tails' house…_

Knuckles walked down the hall and saw Tails on their couch, reading. Knuckles joined him.

"Hey Tails, Where is Sonic?"

"Dunno. Last I saw him, Amy was chasing him somewhere." Tails went back to reading. "Say Knuckles, did you know that if you reduce the polarity of an oranges genetic esophagus, you can enhance the isosiles neuro interblackity crick- crock by the amount of the frequency equal to-

"Yeah yeah-frequency… DON'T THINK I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR TALKING ABOUT BECAUSE I'M SMART ENOUGH TO NOT UNDERSTAND!!!!!!"

……..

"I'm gonna get a soda…" Knuckles grumbled. He walked into the kitchen, and spotted the refrigerator.

_**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_

Knuckles grabbed the soda out of the destroyed refrigerator and walked back to a wide eyed Tails.

"You really have to learn how to open doors…"

"I LIKE SMASHING THEM!!!!!"

"Either way, you're paying for the refrigerator… Again…"

_**KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!**_

"I'll get it." Knuckles said. He walked over to the door, raised his fist, when Tails stepped between him and the door.

"Uh, I think I had better answer it." Tails said nervously. He opened the door.

"SONIC!??!?" Tails and Knuckles said in shock. Sonic was wearing a straw hat, and a red Jacket.

"I've found my true calling guys!" Sonic said proudly. "I'm going to be King of the Pirates and find One piece!"

"Really?" Tails said. "This is the perfect time to get money! Knuckles destroyed the Refrigerator again!"

"SHUT UP TAILS!!!!!!" Knuckles began to beat Tails into pulp.

"First I need a crew…" Sonic murmured. "I need a navigator, a cook, a sharpshooter, a shipwright, a swordsman and a doctor…" He turned to Tails and Knuckles.

"Hey! Would you two like to join my crew?" Knuckles stopped beating up Tails.

"I guess we DO need a new refrigerator…"

"Alright then! Knuckles, you will be my navigator!"

"NO! I WANNA BE CAPTAIN!!!!!!!!!"

"Knuckles, I'M the captain of this crew!"

"SCREW YOU! I'M WAY SMARTERER THAN YOU'LL EVER BE!!!!"

"'Smarterer' isn't a word…"

"SCREW YOU!!!!" Knuckles fumed. Sonic thought for a second.

"Okay Knuckles, I'll make you a deal: you will be my navigator, but if you can learn how to walk through a door like a regular person WITHOUT SMASHING IT then I'll make you captain."

"HA! DEAL! THIS WILL BE EASY!" Knuckles looked at the front door of their house. _All I need to __do,__ is gently open the door…_

Knuckles raised his fist and punched it.

_**BOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_

"This may be harder than I thought…" Knuckles murmured. In the meantime, Sonic was talking to Tails.

"Tails, you will be my-

"Shipwright?" Tails said. Building ships would be easy for him. And cooking was his second choice since he knew a lot about chemistry.

"You will be my swordsman!" Tails fell anime style.

"B-But Sonic!! I don't know anything about swords!! Are you sure that's the right decision?"

"Of course!" Sonic said with the upmost confidence. "I'm the captain after all!"

"Can I at least build my swords?"

"No! you must stick to 'The way of the samurai' whatever that is." Sonic handed Tails a shovel.

"Here is your sword."

"It's a shovel…" Tails said. How am I supposed to be a swordsman without a sword?"

"Sorry Tails. Couldn't find a sword. Oh, and you have to dye your hair green." Sonic pointed dramatically in the air.

"LETS GO FIND THE REST OF MY CREW!"

_**BOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_

Man! I messed up again!" Knuckles said.

_Later…_

Sonic finally found all of his crewmates just in time to set sail. Shadow was their cook, Cream was their shipwright, Big the cat was the sharpshooter and Amy was the doctor.

"WHO THE HELL PICKED AMY TO BE THE DOCTOR!?!??" Sonic screamed. Tails tapped sonic on the shoulder.

"She threatened to use Chaos control." Tails said.

"…Who in world gave Amy the seven Chaos emeralds anyway?" Sonic shook his head.

"Oh well. CREW!!! It's time to set sail!" Sonics crew ran on the ship when suddenly-

"Wait! We need a name!" Sonic said. "How about… THE CHAOS CREW!"

"No way." Amy said. "I say our name should be We LUV Sonic!"

"The chao friends!" Cream said.

"No! The Einstiens!" Tails disagreed.

"KNUCKLES AND HIS THUGS!" Knuckles shouted.

"I WANT PIE!" Big screamed.

"The naked mermaid." Everyone turned to Shadow. "What?" everyone took a step away from Shadow.

"Maybe we could combine our names?" Sonic suggested. "How about… the naked chao LUV thugs!" Big tapped on Sonics shoulder. Sonic sighed.

"…Who like pie…" Everyone cheered.

Soon enough, they set sail with their new pirate flag. It depicted an evil chao who was naked(thank the lord chao do not have sexual parts) who had a tattoo of a heart with Sonic in it and was holding pie. Underneath it said _The Naked Chao LUV Thugs._ And underneath it said _(Who Like Pie)_

Sonic turned to Knuckles.

"Okay Knuckles, which way do we go?" Knuckles stared in confusion.

"Huh?"

"You're our navigator. You have to tell us where to go."

"Really?"

"Yep." Sonic said then he added "The entire fate of the crew depends on YOR decision!"

"REALLY!?"Knuckles said with excitement. "I've never led anything before!" He turned to the compass. There were four letter on it. N, S, E, and W. Knuckles stared at the W. _Hmm…_ he thought. _W… THAT STAND FOR "WONE PIECE!!!!__" !!!!__that__ must be the way to go!"_

"That way!" Knuckles pointed to west and the ship sailed.

_Later…_

Sonic and his crew sailed onward and onward. Farther and farther they went from their home. They passed several landmarks along the way… The Bermuda triangle… the maelstrom… Alabasta… and some random McDonalds restaurant…

But soon, the crew began to face problems.

"So… Hungry…" Sonic wailed. It had been over 700 seconds without food nor water.

"I know…" Amy said. "These could be our last… moments together Sonic…"

"No Amy… We will not kiss…" Amy pulled out the 7 chaos emeralds.

"Chaos… Control…" Amy transformed and began to snog Sonic at 300 KPS (kisses per second). In the meanwhile, Tails was waiting for Shadow, the cook, to bring out a meal for them to eat. Suddenly, Shadow burst from the room holding a metal plate.

"Bon Appetite!" he said as he unveiled the meal. It was a condom.

"SHADOW!!!!" Sonic said. "WE CAN'T EAT A CONDOM!!!!"

"But you said you were hungry!" Shadow replied.

"NOT THAT KIND OF HUNGRY!!!"

"Oh…"

"I think there something over there!" A voice rang out.

"…What was that?" Tails said. Slowly, the mist unveiled itself and another pirate ship was right next to them. It had the words _Going Merry_ on the side with a picture of a skull with a straw hat on for its flag. Sonic looked at their opposition: their captain wore a red jacket and a straw hat.

"HEY! STOP COPYING MY GIG!" Sonic yelled.

"I NEVER COPIED ANYONE! I'M GONNA BE KING OF THE PIRATES AND FIND ONE PIECE!" The stanger yelled back.

"COPYING ME AGAIN WILL YOU!?!?!" suddenly, another Pirate ship came into view. It was a very sleek ship with the words _Black Pearl _written on it.

"HEY ARE YOU AFTER ONE PIECE TOO?" the stranger form before yelled. The newcomer said.

"Rightio! I be afta one piece to make myself the richest pirate in the world!" the other stranger said with a British accent. Another ship came after that, it was captain whisker.

"ARRRRRRG!!!!! You be messin with the wrong pirates lads! It be ME who will get the treasure!"

"God, just how many pirates are after One Piece anyway!?" Knuckles said to Sonic. Tails replied

"Not counting the giant sea monster behind us- three." Knuckles and Sonic turned around slowly.

"GIANT SEA MONSTER!?!?!?!?!?" they turned completely around and saw no sea monster.

"Just kidding!" Tails said with a grin. "There's no sea monster behind us." Sonic and Knuckles breathed a sigh of relief.

"Its underneath the strangers!" Tails finished. The sea monster burst from the water and completely incinerated the _Going merry_.

"Ha! Serves him right for copying me!" Sonic said.

**"GRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!"** the sea monster roared and it unleashed a mighty energy wave that decimated the other two ships. Thiers was the only one left.

"SHARP SHOOTER!!!! FIRE THE CANNONS!!!!!!!!!!" Big pointed the cannon downwards and blew a hole through the ship.

"NO!!!! DAMMIT BIG!!!!" Sonic shouted angrily. Water started to leak through.

"SHIPWRIGHT!!!! FIX THE HOLE!!!!! SWORDSMAN- BATTLE THE MONSTER!!!!" Sonic threw cream down into the lower deck and threw Tails on top of the monster.

**"GRAAAA!?!!?!?"**The monster said confused as to the creature on top of his head. Tails thought quickly and stabbed the monster in the eye with his shovel.

"**GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"**

The monster yelled in rage. It flung Tails off, who landed back on the ship with his two tails. The monster was VERY angry now. It began to charge up its energy wave.

"AMY!" Sonic shouted "USE CHAOS CONTROL!" Amy grabbed the 7 emeralds

"Chaos control!" Amy began to snog Sonic at 500 KPS.

"THAT'S- NOT- WHAT- I- MEANT!!!!!" Sonic said in between kisses. That's when shadow began to take action. As the monster fires its blast, shadow quickly grabbed Big and used his blubber as a shield to deflect the monsters energy wave back at it! The monster perished! But Big was injured.

"Amy!" Shadow yelled "Big is injured! We need you!" Amy stopped kissing Sonic and ran over to help big. His entire stomach was almost completely damaged. Amy kissed Bigs stomach.

"There! A kiss to your tummy (I HATE THAT WORD!!!!) will make it all better!" Amy said joyfully.

_The next day…_

Sonic tossed the coffin over the ship with tears in his eyes.

"Is there anything anyone would like to say about our purple friend?" Everyone was too sad to speak.

"Well then, lets get going- we will complete this mission for BIG! Knuckles, which way?"

"That way!" Knuckles pointed to west. He had pointed to west every single time Sonic asked him that. They sailed west. Until they reached…

"LAND HO!!!!!!" Tails yelled. The rest of the crew sailed towards the land and hopped on to the ground.

"Look a house!" Amy pointed to a familiar house.

"Maybe that's where the treasure is…!" Shadow agreed. Sonic wasn't so sure.

"I don't know guys… doesn't this all look… familiar?" they walked towards the house anyways. That's when Sonic spotted it. A mailbox. A red, blue and yellow mailbox. A mailbox that said _SONIC, TAILS, AND KNUCKLES RESIDENTS._ THEY WENT IN A COMPLETE CIRCLE! (because they went west so many times)

"Umm, Guys!" Sonic said. He pointed towards the mailbox and everyone gasped. "Yes. That's what I thought. This mission was a failure!"

"What are you talking about Sonic?" Tails said. He walked over, opened the mailbox and pulled out a treasure map.

"We're closer than ever to the treasure!!!" He said excitably. Everyone cheered and ran inside the house.

"NO!" Sonic said after them "WE WENT IN A CIRCLE!!! THIS IS OUR HOUSE!!!!" they didn't hear him. Sonic ran after them. They were trying to dig open a wall using Tail's shovel/sword.

"The map says: the treasure is right behind the wall!" Tails said.

"GUYS!" Sonic said, bringing them all to attention "THIS IS OUR HOUSE!!!! WE WENT IN A CIRCLE BECAUSE KNUCKLES IS A BAD NAVAGATOR!"

"HEY!!!!" Knuckles said. Then they realized that Sonic was right. There was no treasure.

"Damn." Shadow said. "All this for nothing… not even a babe…" he kicked the wall in annoyance and a chest fell out. It opened to everyone's swelled eyes to reveal gold and priceless jewels.

"T-T-TREASURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sonic yelled. Below was a note that said: _Property of Knuckles the Echidna_.

"OH YEAH!!! I forgot I buried that there, and hid the map in the mailbox!"

"Now we can buy a new refrigerator!" Tails said.

_Later…_

The crew sat down lazily on the couch. They had bought a new refrigerator plus tons of food and stuff. They all grinned widely.

"Hey knuckles, get us some soda's will ya?" Sonic said. Knuckles went back to the refrigerator. Sonic closed his eyes lazily. Then opened them wide to realize his mistake.

"Oh #$!!!!!!"

_**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_

* * *

A/N: Due to popular response, I will be turning it into a chapter story. Go to my profile to see how I update. 


	3. Theatre Theatrics

"So um, why am I wearing this again?" Knuckles asked. He was in a pink, frilly dress and a tiara with pink ballet slippers.

Basically, Knuckles wearing a princess peach costume.

Away from him, Tails and Sonic were about to perform an 'experiment' that involved a Camera.

"Well Knuckles…" Tails said smiling. "You see, pink is the only color of the spectrum that will render you completely invisible when exposed to the light of this camera.

"REALLY???"

"Yep…"Sonic said. His prank was working out perfectly. "On three Knuckles! One… two…"

_**FLASH!**_

The camera flashed, and it produced an extremely embarrassing picture of Knuckles. But Knuckles did not notice.

"Hey! Am I invisible now!?!?" Knuckles asked. Sonic smiled.

"Oh my Tails! Knuckles has disappeared!" Sonic said, using his best acting skills (which still wasn't that good).

"I'M INVISIBLE!!!!!" Knuckles screamed excitably.

"The experiment was a success Sonic…" Tails said, trying to sustain his laugh. Knuckles was using his newfound 'power' to run around the house, shifting random things and such. Of course, Sonic and Tails could still see Knuckles, but they didn't want to give away the prank. Finally, it was too much and they burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" Knuckles asked them.

"You're not invisible, Knuckles!" Tails said with tears of joy across his face.

"Yeah! We just needed a picture of you in a dress to sell on Ebay!"

"YOU TRICKED ME?!?!?!?!?" Knuckles roared. He ripped off the dress and started to chase Sonic and Tails across their house. Sonic used his super speed to avoid Knuckles, and Tails flew up into the ceiling. This went on for about half an hour, until the mail came through the door pocket. Interested, Sonic dashed over to the door and picked up the magazine. As Knuckles was chasing him, Sonic began to read.

"Let's see… ooh! Order of the phoenix on DVD! And a special sale on Wii's… and a donation to charity for 2 ½ cents… terrorist attack on a local ice cream store… and-

Sonic stopped in mid run.

"OMIGOD!!!" he screamed. Knuckles seized this opportunity of Sonic stopping and tried to punch him with his fists. But before he could do that, Sonic held up his hand to stop and Knuckles fell for it.

"ARRRG!!!!SONIC! YOU MADE ME LOSE MY CONCENTRATION!!" Knuckles raged.

"KNUCKLES! Look at this!" Sonic held up the magazine and Knuckles read the page.

"OMIGOD." He said in shock.

"What? What is it!!?" Tails flew down and began to read the page.

"OMIGOD." Tails said. "There's a sale on old hardware drives!"

"THE OTHER PAGE!" Sonic and Knuckles yelled. Tails read the other page.

"No way…" Tails said. He was looking at a person running away from thousands of mutant- zombified chickens.

"ITS- MUTANT ZOMBIE CHICKENS THREE!!!!" they all screamed in awe.

"They finally came out with it!" Sonic said excitably.

"WE HAVE TO GO SEE IT!!!" Knuckles said.

"Yeah!" Tails agreed. Tails and Knuckles ran towards the door, but Sonic stopped them.

"Hey, aren't you guys forgetting something?!" Knuckles and Tails stopped, waiting for the answer.

"We can't be seen in public! I mean, when I go out in public-

_FLASHBACK_

The scene showed Sonic being chased in fear by his Fan- club, rabid girls, led by of course, Amy.

_END FLASHBACK_

"And when Knuckles goes out…" Sonic continued

_SECOND FLASHBACK_

The scene showed Knuckles being chased in fear from his fan club, a bunch of random rabid girls.

_END SECOND FLASHBACK_

"And then when Tails goes out…"

_THIRD FLASHBACK_

The scene showed Tails being chased by his Fan club, a bunch of geeky nerds saying

"Please play world of Warcraft with us Tails!" and then a bunch of nerdy laughs.

_END THIRD FLASHBACK_

"You didn't have to mention that…" Tails said, embarrassed. "But, nonetheless, you are right! How are we going to see Mutant Zombie Chickens III without our fan clubs knowing?"

"There is only one way…" Knuckles said. "We must sneak in!" Tails and Sonic looked at each other, then burst out laughing.

"WHAT'S SO FUNNY!?!?"

"Knuckles, you suck at sneaking!" Sonic said.

"Yeah! You always smash through doors." Tails added.

"SHUT UP! Besides, I am able to smash through doors quietly!" Tails and Sonic looked at each other again.

"Prove it." They both said.

"Okay." Knuckles said. He walked over through the front door.

_**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_

Their neighbor, Mr. Oldsmen came out. He was 85 years old and served in the war. But no one cares about that.

"BE QUIET NOISY ANIMAL/ HUMAN HYBRIDS!!! I'M TRYING TO REMEMBER WHERE I PUT MY LIVERWURST!!!! I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I SERVED DURING THE WAR!!!!"

"SHUT UP!!!!! YOU TELL US THAT EVERY DAY!!!" Knuckles roared back. He turned back to Sonic and Tails. "See? Only our neighbor heard that!"

"Knuckles, we only have ONE neighbor." Sonic said.

"And, Mr. Oldsmen hearing capacity is 40 percent! He's nearly deaf!!!" Tails said "If he heard it, then you must suck really badly.

"WHERE'S MY LIVERWURST!!?!?" Mr. Oldsmen asked them. Unfortunately, being so old and so deaf, he failed to realize that he stood only five feet away from them.

"TRY YOUR REFRIGERATOR!!!!" Sonic yelled back, trying to help the old man.

"WHAT!?!?"

"TRY YOUR REFRIGERATOR!!!!!!" Sonic yelled even louder.

"WHAT!?!?"

"TRY!!!!!!!!! YOUR!!!!!!!! Oh fer crying out loud…" Sonic took a piece of paper and a pencil out of nowhere and wrote _Look in your refrigerator_ on it. He gave it to Mr. Oldsmen, who thankfully, got the message.

"Thanks!" he said as he ran back to his house for Liverwurst.

"Good thing he's not blind…" Tails said. "ANYWAY, before we got interrupted, I've thought of a plan to let us see the movie…"

_**

* * *

PLAN 1: INCOGNITO**_

Tails had built a robot that looked exactly like a man, and he, Sonic, and Knuckles could fit inside it. They were headed for the movie theatre…

"_Hello. I would like three- I mean, one ticket to see mutant zombie chickens III." _The robot said, Tails inside speaking into the Microphone. The teenage girl, running the ticket counter, eyed Tails' creation suspiciously.

"…Okay…" she said. She turned her back on them to get tickets. Inside the robot, Sonic and Knuckles smiled at Tails.

"Nice one!" Sonic said.

"She'll never know!" Knuckles agreed. The girl handed them the tickets and the robot handed over the money. Then, Tails commanded the robot to walk inside the theatre.

"We're in!" Tails said quietly. "Now, lets read the ticket to see which theatre we go to…" Tails held up the ticket.

Except it wasn't a ticket.

It was a bomb.

_**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_

The bomb blew up, decimating the robot and revealing The trio.

"I KNEW IT!" the ticket girl screamed. "YOU WERE TRYING TO RIP US OFF! SECURITY!!!!!!!!" The security came in and arrested Sonic Tails and Knuckles. But unfortunately, the security was-

"HOLY CRIPES!!! ITS AMY!!!!" Amy tried to smother Sonic, but he managed to keep his cool and run away with Knuckles and Tails in his arms. Once they were about 50 miles away, Sonics fear disappeared and he stopped.

"DAMN! WE WERE SO CLOSE!" Knuckles said angrily.

"We need a new plan…." Sonic said.

"I've got it!" Knuckles said. "Let's wear PINK! Then we can be invisible!"

"…Idiot…" Sonic and Tails sweatdropped.

"SHUT UP!!!! I DON'T KNOW WHATS SO WRONG WITH IT, BUT I WILL COME UP WITH ANOTHER PLAN!!!!!" Knuckles sat down and meditated. A few minutes later, he opened his eyes and smiled…

_**

* * *

PLAN 2:**__** SKY HIGH**_

"…Are you sure this is going to work?" Sonic asked. They were sitting on a giant catapult. The plan was, the trio sits on a giant catapult, and Knuckles lets go of the string, and the catapult will take them to their destination without being noticed.

"Positive!" Knuckles said string in his hand. He climbed on the catapult, until he was in the launching place with Sonic and Tails.

"On three! He said. "1…2…3!!!!!!" Knuckles let go of the string.

_**FWOOOSH!!!**_

The catapult launched them into the air, sending them flying at 600 miles per hour. They went soaring through the sky. They were actually enjoying the sensation. Until Sonic had a thought.

"Hey Knuckles… How are we going to land?" he asked.

"I dunno. Why?" Knuckles said.

"Oh. Okay. Hey Knuckles…"

"Yeah?"

"How high up are we?"

"Um… I'm guessing a rough estimate of about 20,000 feet."

"Oh. Okay. Hey Knuckles…"

"Yeah?"

"YOU'RE A FLIPPIN RETARD!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sonic said as they began descending far too rapidly.

"WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!" Tails screamed.

"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT SONIC!!!!!" Knuckles blamed.

"HOW THE HELL IS THIS MY FAULT!?!?!?!?" Sonic said angrily

"SCREW YOU SONIC!!!!" Knuckles shouted. They hit the ground and died.

……..

JUST KIDDING!!!!!

Sonic woke up about two minutes later.

"HUH!?!? I'm not dead!?!?" he asked to no one in particular. Suddenly, Knuckles and Tails woke up to Sonics' talking.

"We're not dead!" Knuckles said. "But why?!!?"

"That's easy Knuckles." Tails said. "You see, if you multiply the circumference of our body's in proportion to our mass and add to the fact that this dirt here is mostly composed of crushed up rocks…" Sonic shut Tails up as he knew Knuckles wouldn't get the physics behind it.

"Basically Knuckles," Sonic explained "The impact of the fall was so great, that it couldn't kill us."

"HUH!?!?" That doesn't make any sense!!!" Knuckles said.

"Yes it does, it makes perfect sense! You're just an idiot!" Sonic said. "Now come on, we need another plan…" Sonic and Tails walked off, leaving Knuckled completely confused. Eventually, he joined up with the duo, still not able to figure the incident out.

_**

* * *

PLAN 3: **__**MOLE**_

Sonic presented them with a new technology developed by Tails, the Super – Hi tech- Integrated Terravehicle. Nicknamed S.H.I.T. it was a giant drilling machine.

"The S.H.I.T. will tunnel us underground, where we can emerge into the theatre to see Mutant Zombie Chickens III!!!" Sonic said. "Get in!" Knuckles and Tails got in, followed shortly by Sonic. Sonic closed the hatch and entered the special coordinates for the theatre. The S.H.I.T. whizzed and beeped, then turned upside down and began drilling into the earth. Inside the machine, the trio awaited their fate to see the greatest movie of their lives, as this plan could not possibly backfire. Soon, the machine came to a stop, signaling that it had completed its task. Eagerly, Sonic, Tails and Knuckles opened the hatch and stepped out of the vehicle.

They came inside a room, filled with all sorts of computers and robots in it.

"Huh?" they all said.

"The theatre sure looks different from the inside." Knuckles remarked.

"SONIC!!!!" a voice screamed. The trio turned around to see none other than Eggman. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BASE!?!?!?"

"YOUR BASE!?!?!?!" The trio screamed. The plan did backfire.

"No matter… Behold! My new invention!" Eggman pulled from his pocket a ray like device.

"The teleporter Ray!!! This ray gun will teleport you three to the surface of the moon!! BWAHAHAHAHA!" Eggman pressed the button on the ray.

_**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_

Eggmans entire base blew up. The only thing that survived was Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Eggman himself.

"Eh?" I'm alive?" Eggman asked.

"The explosion was so massive, it couldn't kill us." Tails explained.

"Oh. That makes sense." Eggman said.

"YOU GUYS ARE CRAZY!!!" Knuckles said, confused.

"Anyway… I SHALL WRECK MY REVENGE ON YOU SOMEDAY!!!!!" Eggman ran away doing his two step run. The trio simply walked away.

_Later…_

The trio was on top of a building, observing the theatre for any signs of how to get through security. They had tried over 500 more plans to try and see the movie, but all of the attempts led to someone getting hurt, mangled, or in Sonics case, snogged by Amy one too many times.

"That's it!!! I give up!!!" Sonic said, bandages and kiss marks covering his entire body. "We'll just go back home!!!"

"No!" Tails and Knuckles pleaded. "We will see this movie!"

"Just give up… there's no way we can get inside! We've tried everything!" Sonic said

"Not everything…" a mysterious voice said behind them.

"Who's there!?!?" Knuckles said.

"You know who I am Knuckles…" the voice said from the shadows.

"CHUCK NORRIS?!?!?"

"NO!!!!! God you're an idiot…I'm Shadow!" Shadow stepped out of the building. "Anyway, I want to see Mutant Zombie Chickens III, so I want to help you guys."

"Okay Shadow. But, there's no way we can get in!"

"Yes there is… Teleportation!"

"HUH!?!?" the group said.

"Yes. If I can get my hands on a chaos emerald, I can use chaos control to warp us inside!" Shadow smirked.

"This is madness!" Tails said.

"THIS. IS. SPARTAAAAAAA!!!!!!!" Sonic screamed. Everyone stared at Sonic.

"Sorry… got caught up in the moment…"

"Anyway, here's the plan…" Shadow said.

_**

* * *

PLAN 504: CHAOS**_

Amy was outside of the building, waiting for her Sonic to come back. Unbelievably, her dream came true. Sonic stepped from the shadows and winked at Amy.

"SONIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Amy quickly dashed after Sonic, who ran into a nearby alley. But when she got into the ally, she was ambushed by Shadow, Tails and Knuckles, who knocked her out. Shadow grabbed the seven chaos emerald and a sword.

"What's the sword for?" Sonic asked.

"It's to rip open her clothes…" Shadow said with a nosebleed. Sonic and Knuckles smacked Shadow hard.

"Shadow, you are a mega perv!!!" Sonic said insultingly. Shadow didn't take it offensive at all however.

"Thank you. I learned from the best."

_

* * *

Somewhere in Konoha…_

Naruto and his master Jiraya were at the ramen bar, eating of course ramen. Suddenly, a funny feeling came over Jiraya.

"My Jiraya senses are tingling!" he said. "I have a distinct feeling that someone has just praised me!"

"Who the heck would praise you, pervy sage?" Naruto asked insultingly.

"One of my apprentices perhaps." Jiraya responded. "Anyway, don't fret kid! For you too shall learn the secrets of women as I do! Come look!" Jiraya reached into his pocket, pulled out Make- out paradise and flashed a page to Naruto. Naruto fainted from blood loss.

_

* * *

Sonics world_

"Anyway…" Shadow continued. "Let us begin!" Shadow grabbed one chaos emerald and it began glowing. "CHAOS… CONTROL!!!!" Shadow said over-dramatically. The four disappeared into a blinding light. They re-appeared inside the theatre, and the movie was about to start!

"We did it!!!" Sonic cheered. The voice on the screen said

"**Once upon a time… there was a radiation factory/ chicken farm…"**

"**But then… one day… ****tha**** radiation exploded, killing all inhabitants…. Save ONE chicken**** that came back to life****…"**

**"****We**** now present to you****…"** the whole group leaned forward in awe. **"MUTANT!!!! ZOMBIE!!! CHICKENS!!! THRE-**

_**CRAAAAASSSSHHH!!!!!!**_

Something exploded into the room. It was none other than Eggman.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! MEET YOUR DOOM SONIC AND CO!!!!! I PRESENT TO YOU- THE EGG DEALER!!!" Knuckles smashed open the cockpit and pulled out Eggman.

"YOU #$ING IDIOT!!!!! WE WORKED ALL DAY TO SEE THIS MOVIE, AND THEN YOU RUIN THE SCREEN!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Uh, hehe… sorry?"Eggman pleaded, shaking with fear.

"YOU'RE A DEAD EGG!!!!!!!!" Knuckles reared back his fist and _THIS SCENE HAS BEEN BLEEPED OUT BY THE EDITOR DUE TO KNUCKLES KILLING EGGMAN IN A WAY THAT IS TOO VIOLENT FOR ANYONE UNDER 10,000 YEARS OLD._

A pile of dust layed on the floor. Tails stared at the remnants of Eggman, A.K.A. –the pile of dust.

"Wow knuckles. That was awesome!" Shadow said. "Especially the part where you _THIS SPEECH HAS BEEN BLEEPED OUT BY THE EDITOR DUE TO THE CONTENT DESCRIBING THE SITUATION OF THE FIRST EDIT._"

Sonics phone began to ring. He looked at the screen.

"SWEET!!! I just scored 10,000 dollars!!!!"

"WHA-? BUT HOW!?!?" Knuckles asked.

"I sold the picture of you in a dress to some guy on Ebay."

"WHAT!?!!? YOU GET 10,000 DOLLARS AND I GET HUMILIATED!?!?! HOW DOES THAT FIGURE!?!?!?"

"Because you're an idiot." Sonic said obviously.

"WRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

_**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_

Knuckles got so mad that the whole theatre blew up. Only people survived, and they didn't get to see Mutant Zombie Chickens III because the theatre was damaged. What an idiot…

Knuckles: SCREW YOU, NARRATOR!!!!!!

* * *

LOL. Review!!!! 


	4. Knuckles and the beanstalk

Once upon a time, there was an idiot named Knuckles. Knuckles lived in a house with his two best friends, Sonic and Tails. Knuckles was an idiot because he had this problem. You see, instead of opening doors like a regular person, he had to punch them and make them explode a little bit.

One day, Knuckles broke the refrigerator. He and his friends had nothing to eat for three days. And so, Sonic, the leader, decided to trade in their cow (??) for some food. He sent Knuckles to go to the supermarket and trade…

"Is he here yet?" Tails said.

"No." Sonic replied. "He'd better be here quick though! I can't take starvation anymore!"

_**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH!!**_

"He's back." Sonic said. He and Tails ran over to the front door, now destroyed for the 130,097,682th in a row, to face Knuckles.

"Did you get the food?" Sonic asked.

"I got something even better!" Knuckles held up three beans.

"…YOU IDIOT!! THREE BEANS!!"

"WAIT SONIC!" Knuckles said. "I know that it looks like a screwed up again… But I didn't this time for sure!"

"But you traded our cow (??) for three measly beans!" Tails said angrily.

"Nuh uh! I traded our cow for three MAGIC beans!" Knuckles said proudly.

"…Magic beans…" Tails muttered.

"Yeah! I met this guy who agreed to trade our cow for three of his magic beans!" Knuckles smirked. "I think I kinda ripped him off though… hehehe!" he chuckled. Sonic and Tails fell anime style.

"YOU IDIOT!! HE RIPPED YOU OFF!!" Sonic said.

"Really? Why?" Knuckles said confused.

"Because magic doesn't exist!"

"IT DOESN'T!?" Knuckles said, completely shocked.

"Yeah…" Tails sweat dropped. "But wait- I think I can turn this bad situation into a helpful one!" Tails reached inside his pockets and pulled out a weird ray- like device.

"What's that?!" Sonic and Knuckles asked.

"This is my latest invention- The growth/ time ray! It can make things grow really huge, or speed up time!"

"That's genius Tails!" Sonic complimented.

"HUH?! How does that help us?" Knuckles asked.

"Watch and learn Knuckles!" Tails said. He went outside and threw the beans on the ground. Then, Tails switched on the device to "Time accel." And turned on the switch. With a burst of light, the machine enveloped the plant in a circle of energy, and when it was done, there was now a beanstalk!"

"Nice!" Sonic said.

"I still don't get it…" Knuckles said.

"There's still more!" Tails assured Knuckles. He flipped a switch to "Growth" and with another burst of light, the beanstalk began to grow rapidly! Up and up it went, higher and higher, until they could no longer see the top!

"Oh! I get it!" Knuckles said. "Now, we can grow giant beans, sell them to national geographic, and make money to buy food!"

"…Wha-?" Sonic said.

"No! That's not it!" Tails said. "One of us will climb up to the top of the beanstalk and go to the sky place! Then, he will battle the giant, claim his gold, and then we can get food!"

"Wait- so magic isn't real, but Fantasy worlds exist!?" Knuckles said in confusion.

"Of course they do! How do you think WE'RE here!?" Sonic asked.

"…Good point. I'd hate to be the poor sap who goes up there though!"

"Well good. Cause YOR going up it!" Sonic said.

"WHAT?! Why me?!" Knuckles asked.

"Because you're an idiot. Because you've blown up the door about a billion times. Because you smashed the refrigerator and left us without food. Because you traded our cow (??) for fake magic beans. Because a million and two hot dogs are up there."

"A MILLION!?" Knuckles immediately raced up the beanstalk at a super fast speed.

"Nice one Sonic!" Tails said.

_10,000 feet above the ground_

* * *

Knuckles head burst above the clouds. He had been traveling for exactly 1.275 seconds, and had reached the top of the beanstalk.

"Now, where are the hotdogs…?" Knuckles said, looking around at the sky world. He saw a giant castle.

"Alright! That must be where they're stored!" he ran to the giant castle. Fueled by three days of no food, and the fact that there was hotdogs in it, he made it to the castle in another three seconds. He knocked on the giant door.

_**Knock! Knock! Knock!**_

The door slowly creaked open to reveal a mean looking giant.

"**FEE FI FO F#!! I SMELL THE BLOOD OF AN ENGLISH DUCK!!"**

"HEY!! I'm an echidna!!" Knuckles screamed.

"**BE HE FRIED OR BE HE GRILLED, I'LL BEAT HIM WITH A STICK UNTIL HE IS KILLED!!"**

"Hey!! Down here!!"

"**WHERE IS THE DUCK!?"**

"I'M DOWN HERE!!" Knuckles screamed.

"**DAMN. THERE REALLY WAS NO DUCK."**

"DOWN HERE MORON!! AND I'M AN ECHIDNA!!"

"**OH WELL." **The giant closed the giant door.

"Aw man! I need him to give me hot dogs!" Knuckles crawled under the crack of the door, and into the giants evil lair…

Which was covered in pink and pony pictures on every side.

"Evil villains just aren't what they used to be…" Knuckles muttered. Suddenly, he heard a beautiful singing voice. Knuckles followed the singing voice until he saw a giant bed. He climbed up the giant bed where he saw a giant chest on a giant dresser. He opened the chest and located the source of the singing noise: a harp with a woman's face.

"Are you a singing hotdog?"

"No!" she said. "I am a magic harp! Please, I need your help!"

"Where are the hotdogs?"

"Long ago, I was imprisoned here by the mean giant…"

"Are they in the giant kitchen?" Knuckles asked.

"He locked me up, and now forces me to sing him to sleep every night!"

"Lady, where are the Hotdogs?"

"If you break me free, I will sing, and then magic stuff will happen!"

"LISTEN LADY!! I NEED HOTDOGS!!"

"…Um, okay… if you break me free, I guess I could give you hotdogs instead…"

"ALRIGHT!! NOW WE'RE TALKIN'!!" Knuckles picked up the harp/woman and closed the chest. But as he closed the chest, a huge shadow fell upon him.

"It's the evil giant! Run!" Knuckles ran away, but the giant followed him.

"**I KNEW I SMELT A DUCK!!"**

"I'M AN ECHIDNA!!" Knuckles crawled under the door. He ran along the clouds until he reached the beanstalk he began to climb down with the harp on his shoulder. The giant was following him, so he had to move fast. When he reached the ground, Sonic and Tails were waiting for him.

"Did you get the gold?" Tails asked.

"No. But I got this." Knuckles held up the harp, and she smiled.

"KNUCKLES!! WE CAN'T EAT A HARP!!" Sonic said angrily.

"Um, hello, I'm a MAGIC harp!" the harp said.

"Are you an edible magic harp?"

"No."

"Then we don't care." Suddenly, the Giant jumped down from the beanstalk and started to terrorize the local populace. The city became on fire, and everyone was screaming and running in random directions.

"You brought a giant too?!" Tails said in shock.

"Oh yeah. He was chasing me because he wants his magic ukulele back." Knuckles said.

"HARP!!" the harp cried.

"Whatever. The point is, we need to defeat him somehow!"

"Okay uh…" Sonic began to think. "How did they do it in the book?"

"They trick the giant and chop the beanstalk with an ax, causing him to fall and die." Tails said smartly.

"Nah. Too boring." Sonic said. "Okay… here's what we do- we go up to the giants head, get swallowed by him, and while we're in his stomach, we climb up to his heart and stab him with Tails's shovel!"

"Sonic! This is a PG-13 story! We aren't allowed to show THAT much blood!" Tails said.

"Oh yeah." Sonic said, discouraged.

"I know!" Knuckles said. "Let's call Godzilla tom help us!"

"Knuckles, that is the stupidest-

Sonic stopped in midsentence.

"Actually, that's not a half bad idea." Sonic complimented. He then pulled out a watch and the Godzilla signal flashed through the sky. Godzilla then came out from the ocean, and proceed to fight with the giant. Godzilla got beaten in one hit.

"WTF!?" everyone said.

"CRAP!! If only neo from the matrix was here!!" suddenly, Neo appeared.

"I are the chosen one." He said dramatically.

"Alright!" Knuckles said. He picked up Neo, put him in his catapault, and hurled him at the giant. It had no effect whatsoever.

"YOU IDIOT!!" Sonic said. He beat Knuckles into pulp. "There is only one solution…" he picked up something from his pocket and slammed it on the ground. It was a card.

"I SUMMON SLIFER THE SKY DRAGON!!" The clouds turned dark and with a dramatic entrance, Slifer appeared.

"THUNDER FORCE BLAST ATTACK THINGY!!" Sonic commanded. Slifer gathered its energy, then launched its attack at the giant and decimated him completely.

"YES!! WE WON!!" the trio said in glee.

"But what about me?" the harp said.

"I know!" Tails exclaimed. "I think I know a use for you after all!"

Tails sold the harp to national geographic. He earned three and a half cents and bought 10,000 hot dogs and their cow (??) back. The singing ukulele was never seen again.

"I'M A HARP!!"

* * *

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. Review pleasz!! I had writer block on this chapter...




	5. Sonic DA hedgehog movie: pt 1

* * *

It was a relatively uneventful day in sonic world. The trio had been bored all day as there was nothing to do. So the trio sat on the couch. They watched some TV, they watched some grass grow, they watched some paint dry, they watched Shadow getting chased by rabid fan girls…

"Ugh…" Sonic said.

"Ug…" Tails agreed. He lazily flipped the channels.

"Knuckles, say something stupid so that we won't be so bored…" Sonic said.

"HEY! I've never said anything stupid in my life!"

"Heh… thanks Knuckles." Sonic smiled.

"SCREW YOU SONIC!!" Knuckles screamed in rage. Tails kept flipping the channels. Suddenly…

"AND THIS IS THE FESTIVAL OF FIRE!!" the newscaster said excitably. "THAAAAAAAT'S right!! Straight from Soleanna city, we give you the next princess- miss princess Elise!" the camera zoomed on an overly giant float with a rather attractive girl riding it.

"HEY- that's it!" Sonic jumped off the couch. "We'll go to the festival of fire! Then we won't be bored!"

"Good luck with that…" Tails said lazily as he continued to flip through channels. Sonic left immediately, and because he traveled at the speed of sound, was able to reach the festival in two days!!

…I know what you're thinking, 'Gosh Cataclyptic, I though Sonic was a lot faster than that!'

And well, Sonic stopped for a hot dog on the way. And he took 47 and a half hours eating it.

_

* * *

_

Soleanna city

The festival was still going on for some stupid reason, and Sonic was watching it. The main attraction was the princesses float of course.

"All right! Here we go!" Sonic said excitably.

_Five minutes later…_

Sonic was still bored out of his wits.

"Ugh…" he said. Suddenly, a tiny dot came into view. It grew bigger and bigger until it was the size of a missile!

…In fact, it WUZ a missile! Heading straight for the princess!!

_**BOOOOSSHHHHHH!!**_

It hit the float, and the armed guards around it fled. The city was then bombarded with missiles and bombs. Giant robots came from nowhere, and attacked the citizens.

"Finally, some action!" Sonic said as he ran to rescue the princess.

Meanwhile up above where Elise was standing, a giant battleship had appeared. Its belly opened up, and a platform was raised downwards. With a figure on it.

"Hello… Princess…" it was none other than- CHUCK NORRIS!!

…Just kidding, it was Eggman.

"I suggest you calmly come to my ship, dear." Eggman said in a somewhat threatening tone.

"But- why?" Elise asked.

"Because I'm capturing you! Bwahaha!" Eggman laughed.

"Why?" Elise asked.

"Because I'm an evil scientist! I've got nothing better to do!" Eggman pressed a button and a robot came out and grabbed the princess.

Suddenly, there was a flash of blue, and Elise was out of the robots hand! The one holding her was none other than Sonic!

"Don't worry princess, you're safe with me!" Sonic said as he let her down.

"Curses! Eggman said as he summoned more giant robots.

"Wait, who are you!?" Elise asked.

"I'm Sonic. Sonic the Hegdehog!" Sonic smiled confidently.

"Hedgehogs are stupid." Elise said flatly. Sonic fell down anime style.

"LOOK! DO YOU WANT MY HELP OR NOT!?" Sonic said angrily. Elise shrugged.

"I guess." Sonic then turned to face Eggman, who now had an army of giant robots on his sides.

"ATTACK!" he commanded. The robots rushed forward to kill the blue hedgehog. But Sonic was too fast for them- he pulled out a machine gun and shot them all.

"WTF!?" Elise said, now extremely confused.

"NOOO!! HOW COULD MY ROBOTS FAIL!?" Eggman screamed in disbelief.

"Because, I kill them all the time!" Sonic said in an obvious tone.

"But- I still have my greatest weapon!" Eggman pulled out a ray gun.

"Behold- the Chibi ray!"

"WTF!?" Sonic and Elise said. Eggman shot Sonic with the Chibi ray, and suddenly- Sonic became super small and super cute! (Imagine hello kitty X 100- that's what he looks like.)

"OH NO!!" Sonic said in his super cute voice.

"OMFG!! YOR SO CUUUUTEEE!!" Princess Elise creamed in delight. He reached down and hugged him. _Say, maybe this isn't so bad…_ Sonic thought. Suddenly, Eggman grabbed Elise, and began walking towards his ship with her being the hostage.

"Oh no you don't!" Sonic jumped in the air, and landed a kick on Eggmans back! Unfortunately, since Sonic was a chibi, it had no effect whatsoever.

"So long losers!" Eggman said as he grabbed Elise and dragged him back to his ship. Then, the ship ignited its engine, and took off leaving Sonic in the dust.

"Crap…I just let an extremely hot girl into Eggmans clutches!" Sonic said. He felt the Chibi rays effect wearing off, and soon he was back to normal size. "I have to save her! I'm too bored to do anything else!" Sonic said. "I know! I'll use Tails' plane!"

Sonic took off at the speed of sound to their house.

_

* * *

_

Meanwhile at their house…

Tails and Knuckles were still sitting on the couch, watching TV. They didn't know if they found anything good on it, because they were so bored.

Suddenly, a wormhole opened through the space time continuum, and a white figure rushed out of it. He had yellow eyes, blue markings on his hands, and was white with five quills on his forehead.

"Greetings from the future." The figure said to Tails and Knuckles. Tails aimed the channel changer at the white figure and clicked. He clicked it several times before realizing he was real.

"Who are you and what do you want!?" Knuckles leaped off the couch.

"I am Silver the hedgehog! And I seek the being known as Sonic the hedgehog!" Silver answered.

"Oh. Well Sonic is in-

Tails was cut off by Knuckles who said

"Actually, I'M Sonic! Knuckles smiled. Tails pulled Knuckles away.

"Why did you say that!?" Tails said to Knukles.

"Because- Sonic ALWAYS gets to save the world!! I want to save it for once, and not let Sonic be the hero!" Knuckles said angrily. Then he turned back to Silver.

"As I was saying, I am Sonic the hedgehog!"

"Wow that was easy." Silver said.

"So, what kind of mission do you have for me- Sonic!" Knuckles smiled confidently.

"Actually, I've been sent from the future in order to kill you." Silver stated.

"…What?" silver grabbed Knuckles and hurled him across the room, slamming him into the wall. He followed up by automatically pursuing him, and punching Knuckles as his momentum reached its peak. Then he used his psychic powers to levitate Knuckles and slam him into another wall, and then he levitated the chimney and swung it as a baseball bat, decimating Knuckles (and the house) completely, leaving Knuckles in a crater! Silver slowly walked up to Knuckles.

"And now I shall end your life, and forever put an end to the Flames of disaster!!" suddenly, there was a flash of blue, and Sonic was back.

"Tails! You won't believe it! This princess was captured and I need to rescue her cause I'm bored and-

Sonic stared at the sight of Knuckles completely crushed by Silver.

"Uh… who's the white guy?" Sonic pointed.

"He's Silver. He wants to destroy Knuckles." Tails explained.

"And who might you be?" Silver asked Sonic.

"I am Sonic the Hedgehog!" Silver turned towards Knuckles, who in his deformed state managed to say-

"I LIED! HE'S THE REAL SONIC! KILL HIM!!" Silver stared at Sonic.

"Funny thing… I actually wasted all of my energy on that last attack. I guess I'll just have to kill you later."

"I CAN'T WIN!!" Knuckles screamed. Silver turned back to Sonic.

"For the sake of the future… I will kill you one day…" Silver took off and disappeared. Sonic still stared at the scene, very confused as to what was going on. Then, Sonic remembered his original mission.

"Tails! I need your plane because I need to rescue this extremely hot princess!!"

"I'm in!" Tails said.

"EXTREMELY HOTT!? I'M IN TOO!!" Knuckles bellowed from inside his crater.

"All right then!! LETS GO!! BELIEVE IT!!" Sonic yelled.

_

* * *

_

Shadow, Rouge, and Omega's lair…

"**WHERE THE HELL IS ROUGE…"** Shadow said in a demented voice. "She was supposed to be back here with the groceries TWO DAYS AGO!!" He raged.

"_MAYBE, SHE GOT LOST?" _Omega said, trying to calm down Shadow. Shadow was not calmed down any.

"THAT'S IT! Omega, we're going after Rouge! I'm starving…" Shadows stomach growled.

"_THIS IS ONE OF THOSE TIMES WHEN I'M GLAD TO BE A ROBOT."_ Omega said.

"Activate your radar, we'll find Rouge-and the food- eventually!!" Shadow pointed dramatically in the air.

_

* * *

_

Later…

Omega had been able to trace Rouge's signature to a floating ship in the sky- Eggmans ship.

"Why would she be on Eggmans ship?" Shadow said in confusion.

"_MAYBE SHE GOT CAPTURED?"_ Omega suggested. Shadow nodded his head in agreement.

"Okay Omega… here we go!" Shadow pulled a chaos emerald from thin air. "CHAOS… CONTROL!!" Shadow said overdramatically. Instantly, the two were warped to Eggmans ship. After they got inside, a couple minutes of searching later, they found a room which held Rouge's signature.

_Rouge was here_

So said the sign on the wall.

"She's HERE all right…" Shadow said. He cupped his hands to his mouth. "Rouge…Rouge…. ROUGE!!" Shadow yelled. Rouge dropped from the ceiling and tackled Shadow.

"YOU FLIPPING IDIOT!! I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF AN IMPORTANT HIEST!!" Rouge screamed angrily.

"WELL YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO GET THE FOOD TWO DAYS AGO!!" Shadow retorted.

"I SAY EGGMANS SHIP AND THOUGHT 'OH, MAYBE I SHOULD STEAL FROM EGGMAN' INSTEAD OF HAVING TO BUY IT!!"

"HAVENT YOU EVER HEARD OF A GROCERY STORE!?" Shadow said, now furious with the argument.

"NO! AND EVEN IF I DID, I WOULDN'T HAVE ANY MONEY BECAUSE SOMEONE HAPPENED TO BUY _EXPLICIT MAGAZINES_ INSTEAD OF SAVING IT FOR FOOD!!"

"TAKE THAT BACK!!" Shadow said, accidently holding up an explicit magazine. The two began to argue about useless and random things,all driving Omega's hearing sensor to the point of malfunction.

"_UGH..."_ Omega said. A secret compartment inside him opened up to reveal a bear horn. Omega deactivated his hearing sensors.

_**BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!**_

Shadow and Rouge stopped arguing.

"_WILL YOU TWO PLEASE STOP ARGUING LIKE A MARRIED COUPLE!?" _Omega said. Shadow and Rouge blushed heavily.

"I-its not like that…" Shadow said, still red.

"We aren't in love! I SWEAR!!" Rouge said nervously.

"_UGH…"_ Omega said. _"ANYWAY, WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO STEAL, ROUGE?"_ Rouge pointed ahead of them.

"That." She said. Where she pointed was a scepter of sorts, with darkness energy swirling inside of it.

"What… what is it!?" Shadow said in awe.

"Don't know. But I want it 'cause it's SHINY." Rouge smiled. Shadow and Omega fell down anime style.

"What is it with women and shiny things?!" Shadow said to nobody.

"_I TRIED TO FIGURE THAT ONE LAST WEEK, BUT MY HARDRIVE CRASHED TRYING TO SIMULATE AS TO WHY."_ Omega said.

"Pretty pretty shiny shiny…" Rouge said, now completely transfixed. She grabbed it, and suddenly, a loud beeping noise was heard.

_**WARNING! INTRUDER ALERT! WARNING! INTRUDER ALERT!**_

"_IT'S OKAY HONEY, IT'S JUST US!"_ Omega said. The beeping stopped.

"**IS THAT YOU OMEGA!?****"** The doctors computer said.

"_YES. WE WERE WONDERING IF WE COULD BORROW THAT SCEPTOR."_

"**OH, BUT OF COURSE DEAR! I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT****!"**

"_SURE THING HONEY!" _Omega said happily.

_

* * *

_

Back in the lair…

"So… what does it do?" Shadow asked, tinkering with the scepter in his hands.

"It's shiny." Rouge said in an obvious tone.

"…right. Anyway, I'm going to chuck this thing since it has no use whatsoever."

"**CHUCK IT AND YOU DIE." **Rouge said menacingly. Shadow was taken aback in fear. "I'm going to the bathroom now. **DON'T TOUCH MY SHINY- THING."** Rouge said in a demented voice. Rouge left to the ladies room. Shadow stared at the scepter.

_I'd better not let anything happen to this scepter, or else Rouge will kill me…_ Shadow thought. He carefully laid the scepter on their couch. Shadow wiped some sweat off his brow as Omega came in.

"_SHADOW! I HAVE GREAT NEWS!" _Omega said in his mechanical voice. _"I HAVE INSTALLED A NEW PROGRAM IN MY SOFTWARE THAT ENABLES MAXIMUM DESTRUCTION! CARE TO SEE?"_

"Oh yeah!" Shadow said, now excited. A beeping was heard from Omega's chest, and then it opened up to reveal dozens of missile sockets. With a mighty roar, dozens of missiles launched from Omega's chest onto the couch, completely obliterating it and leaving a thick haze of smoke where it used to be.

"_FUN, YES?"_ Omega smiled.

"Yeah, it's fun to blow things u- Wait, what did you just hit!?"

"_THE COUCH."_

"OHNOES!! ROUGE WILL KILL ME NOW THAT HER SCEPTER IS DESTROYED!!"

"WHAT!?" A voice was heard from down the hall. Along came Rouge as she speeded to the living room. She stared at the scene.

"**THOSE WHO KILL MY SHINY MUST DIE…" **Rouge said in her demented voice. Shadow and Omega slowly backed up in fear, but then the smoke cleared to reveal that Rouge's scepter was unharmed!

"WTF!?" Shadow said in confusion.

"YEA!! IT'S STILL IN ONE PIECE!" Rouge grabbed the scepter, and it fell into pieces.

"It… broke…" Rouge said.

"_INDEED. SPECIFICALLY, IT FELL INSIDE THE AREA OF SHADOWS SHADOW. BUT I'M SURE THAT WILL HAVE NOTHING WHATSOEVER TO DO WITH THE PLOT OF THIS MOVIE."_ Omega said. Suddenly, a strange mist poured out of the scepter into Shadows shadow. Then, bursting from Shadows shadow was a shadowed version of Shadow! (TOO MANY SHADOWS!!)

It looked like Shadow, but this shadow was purplish, and more crystal like.

"_Bwahaha! I am Mephiles the Dark! Now that I'm released from my prison I will totally rule the world!"_

The new figure, Mephiles, somehow beat them to the ground with one shot.

"What!? How did you do that!?" Rouge said.

"_Because I was released in Shadows shade, I have all his powers!!"_ Mephiles thought for a little bit. _"But for some reason, I have the strange need to go immediately to the nearest womens bathhouse."_

Omega and Rouge glared at Shadow.

"…_Anyway! It does not matter, as I will still rule the world- CHAOS CONTROL!!"_

The four were engulfed in a wormhole, then disappeared from the lair.

* * *

Sorry it took so long. This movie will probably be the final chapters. based on the video game _Sonic the Hedgehog._


	6. Sonic DA hedgehog movie: pt 2

**Part two: The chapter with too many references**

_

* * *

_

PREVIOUSLY ON SONIC DA HEDGEHOG:

* * *

Knuckles: "We have to find the bomb!!!"

Tails: "We only have 24 hours!!!"

**TICK- TOCK. TICK- TOCK. TICK- TOCK. TICK- TOCK.**

* * *

Rouge: "My precious…"

Omega: "_GIVE ME THE RING!"_

Rouge: "My precious…"

* * *

Sonic: "They told me you killed him… You killed my father!!!"

Shadow: "No Sonic… I AM YOR FATHER!"

Sonic: "NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

_

* * *

_

And now… Sonic DA movie part two…

_

* * *

_

Year 2150- 100 years into the future.

Shadow, Rouge and Omega arrived at their destination. The future.

It was a field of flowers.

"…" Mephiles stood, apparently confused. "_What the crap? This isn't supposed to happen!!!_" Mephiles said in rage.

"I agree." Shadow said. "I was expecting a bleak and hopeless city, nearly ruined by some all- powerful monster."

"_I know! That's what was supposed to happen!!!"_ Mephiles said. "_I don't understand it_!" Mephiles kicked a rock in anger. The rock, which was actually a painting on a wall along with the entire scenery, fell down to reveal an entire city in ruins and flames.

"GASP!" Shadow, Rouge and Omega said.

"_AHA! It was a movie set!"_ Mephiles realized. "_NOW tremble in fear before the might of the future!!!"_

Omega, Shadow and Rouge looked at the endless destruction.

"…Cool." They said.

_"WTF!?!?!?!? THAT'S IT! I'M GOING SOMEPLACE ELSE!!!!"_ Mephiles used Chaos control to warp the heck out of there. But then he returned.

"_Oh… by the way…"_ he smiled deviously. "_I'm bored, so I'm going to torture Shadow to my hearts content!"_ Mephiles then in a surprise move, grabbed Rouge and Omega and pulled them into his vortex, which disappeared as Shadow frantically reached for it.

"NOOOO!!!!!" Shadow cried out. "ROUGE NEVER GAVE ME ANY FOOOOOOODDDDDDD!!!!!!!!"

* * *

Sonic, Tails and Knuckles flew high above the clouds in Tails new flying machine. For their journey, they took the refrigerator, a chaos emerald, and Tails's shovel. Their destination: Eggmans new base!

They soon found it in the middle of a desert. Tails descended the plane, and all three climbed out.

"HEY EGGMAN!!!!" Knuckles shouted. "GIVE US BACK THE HOTT PRINCESS!!!!!!!" Sonic and Tails slapped themselves in the faces.

"KNUCKLES YOU IDIOT!!!!! WE WERE GOING TO SNEAK INSIDE!!!!!!"" Sonic yelled in rage.

"…oh yeah." Knuckles remembered.

???: "So… you've come back have you!?!?" a voice rang out. "Well behold… MY GREATEST CREATION EVER!!!" a giant mechanical dog with three heads rose from beneath the ground, with Eggmans cockpit in the middle head.

"Behold, the EGG CERBERUS!!! BWAHAHAHA!!!!" Eggman laughed. Sonic glared at knuckles.

"THIS is EXACTLY WHY we were supposed to SNEAK in!!!!" He said.

"Yeah, thanks a lot Knuckles…" Tails said.

"SHUT UP!!!" Knuckles said to everyone.

"As punishment, you are going to destroy the Egg Cerberus by yourself." Sonic said.

"…" Knuckles looked up at the growling dog machine, 300 times his own height. "…uh…" he looked around, but Sonic and Tails were already gone.

"This is going to be FUN!" Eggman smiled.

The truth was, Sonic and Tails had actually started to climb up the Egg Cerberus. Their plan was to use Knuckles as a distraction (and inflict as much pain as possible onto him) while they climb to the prison chamber in the Cerberus to rescue Elise.

"Hey Sonic, how do we even KNOW that there is a prison chamber in Eggmans machine?" Tails asked as they climbed into its depths.

"Elementary my dear Tails." Sonic said, now wearing a hat and blowing bubbles out of a pipe. "It's because this fan fiction is so stupid, that we are actually able to bend its course in the story by a certain length, and thus, by saying that there is a prison chamber, there actually IS a prison chamber." Sonic explained.

"Oh." Tails said. "Then if I say that the prison chamber is around the next corner…" Tails and Sonic raced down the hall, and the next corner had a prison chamber in it.

"Cool! Manipulating this story rocks!!!" Tails exclaimed excitably. They went into the prison chamber, and found Elise.

"Huh… Sonic!?" she said.

"Yep! And Tails too!" Sonic said, pointing to Tails.

"…Why is he called Tails?" Elise asked.

"Uh… can't you tell?" Tails said. Elise nodded her head in a 'no'. "…It's… because I have… two tails…" Tails sweatdropped.

"…I don't get it." Elise said in confusion.

"Look, see, I have multiple tails, and thus, Sonic named me TAILS." Tails tried to explain.

"…It doesn't make sense." Elise said, still confused.

"Look, it's really quite simple-

"WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!!!!" Sonic screamed. "We have to get out NOW." Sonic ushered them outwards, and all three raced through the halls to go to the exit-

Which was blocked by a bunch of robots. That saw the trio.

"_DESTROY ALL INTRUDERS!"_ They said, and went towards Sonic, Tails and Elise with laser blasters in their hands. However, Tails stepped forth and proceeded to whack all of the robots with his shovel, and managed to defeat them all by himself. They then jumped out, and landed back onto the ground to witness Knuckles fighting the Egg Cerberus

And losing badly. He was bruised on every corner of his body, and barely standing. Eggman was becoming quite bored of killing Knuckles over and over again, when he spotted Sonic and Tails carrying Elise to safety.

"HEY! THAT'S MY CAPTIVE! I STOLE HER FAIR AND SQUARE!" Eggman said angrily in his cockpit. He turned the Egg Cerberus to them.

"HAH! Now let's see how YOU deal with the Cerberus!!!" Knuckles said triumphantly, hoping that Sonic would get killed. Sonic analyzed the situation. He stopped running, and turned back to face the mechanical dog.

"Murgelflurgel!" Sonic said in a dramatic voice. The Egg Cerberus disintegrated into a million pieces.

"DAMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-

Eggman fell to the ground and survived due to Olga's law (_if an object were to receive impact from a powerful force, it is possible for the object to remain intact should the force be too great.)_. Meanwhile, Sonic, Tails and Knuckles sat down with Elise far away from the ashes of the Egg Cerberus.

"So, who wants to eat?" Sonic said, pulling out their refrigerator from the Airplane.

"…You brought a refrigerator with you!?" Elise questioned.

"Yep!" Tails said. He reached into the fridge and pulled out a soda. He undid the cap and drank a little bit.

"Ah! Nothing like a cold soda, right guys?" Tails said.

"Yep!" Sonic and Knuckles said, also drinking coca cola.

"…Wait a minute… HOW CAN THE SODA'S BE COLD IF THE REFRIGERATOR ISN'T PLUGGED IN!?!?!" Elise said in disbelief.

"Because this story's stupid." Sonic said. Elise simply shrugged and took a soda from a fridge.

"So…" she began. "Why are you called Sonic?" Elise asked. Sonic looked at her like she was retarded.

"…uh, because I can run fast…?" Sonic answered.

"…I don't understand…" Elise said, trying to think of how that was possible. As they tried to explain it to her, Knuckles walked over to the refrigerator. He paused, thinking for a second.

"…And that is why my name is TAILS and his name is SONIC." Tails explained.

"That makes no sense…" Elise said. Sonic and Tails slapped their faces.

"Hey guys! Do we have any cheese in the fridge?" Knuckles asked.

"Yeah, we should." Tails said, then turned his attention back to Elise. "Now let's try this ONE more ti-

Tails then realized that Knuckles was about to open the fridge. And he also noticed that Elise was dangerously close to the fridge.

"KNUCKLES!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

_**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_

The refrigerator exploded because Knuckles punched it. Because Elise was so close to the explosion, she was sent flying a little. At the exact same time, Mephiles's portal to the present opened up. Mephiles, Rouge and Omega steppes out of it, when suddenly, Elise (who was flying) went right through the portal as it closed up.

_"…What the crap!?"_ Mephiles said in disbelief.

"NOOOOO!!!!! KNUCKLES YOU IDIOT!!!!! THE PRINCESS JUST GOT SENT AWAY TO THE DISTANT FUTURE!!!!!! WHICH IS PROBABLY REALLY COOL LOOKING, BUT DISASTROUS!!!!" Sonic said in rage.

"uh…" Knuckles was beaten into pulp by Tails and Sonic. They scooped up his ashes and dumped them into a nearby trashcan which was conveniently near by.

"_Um, does anyone want to explain why a random hot girl just wizzed by into my time portal?"_ Mephiles asked.

"Because Knuckles is an idiot." Sonic said. "Now we have to rescue her AGAIN!!! By the way, who are you?"

_"I am Mephiles the dark!"_ Mephiles proclaimed proudly. _"I will rule the world and stuff, so I stole Shadows powers until I can find my TRUE body!!! But for some reason, I feel like reading a playboy right now…"_

"Oh really? Cause we have one right here!" Sonic said, holding up said explicit magazine.

_"YES! I-I mean wait… NO!!! I shall resist!!!! I must resist!!!! I shall-_

_

* * *

_

1.275 seconds later…

Mephiles sat with Sonic reading a playboy on the ground.

_"I don't know why, but I find this very fascinating!"_ Mephiles smiled. Rouge on the other hand, merely scoffed at their pervertedness.

"Seriously Omega…" Rouge rolled her eyes.

"_AFFERMATIVE."_ Omega replied.

"You know… it's weird… Shadow would be looking at that kinda stuff with them…"

"_UM, ROUGE… SHADOW WAS LEFT BEHIND IN THE DISTANT FUTURE._" Omega pointed out. Rouge's eyes widened.

"W-what?" She said, almost afraid of the answer. Omega repeated his statement.

"WHAAAAAAAATTTT!?!?!?!" Rouge screamed in panic. "WE HAVE TO RESCUE HIM!!!!!"

"_ROUGE, NOT TO BE RUDE OR ANYTHING, BUT I WOULD HAVE SUSPECTED THAT YOU WOULD HAVE LOVED FOR SHADOW TO BE GONE."_ Omega said.

"THIS IS NO TIME FOR THAT!!!!" Rouge said in anger. "We have to find a way to rescue him NOW!!!"

"_AHA!"_ Omega exclaimed. _"MY DEDUCTION WAS CORRECT! YOU __DO__ LIKE SHADOW AFTER ALL!"_

"I DO NOT!!!!!" Rouge blushed. "Now shut up and help me think of something!!!!"

"_Hah! You can do naught but plead me to spare him from my wrath!!!" _Mephiles suddenly said.

"…Will that get Shadow back here?" Rouge asked.

"_No!!!"_ Mephiles said gleefully. _"It's impossible!!! It's not like you can simply WAIT 100 years!!! Hahaha!!!"_

"…Wait one hundred years…" Rouge murmured to herself. Suddenly, she had it.

"OMEGA!!!" she yelled. "I have a plan to save Shadow!"

"_YES?"_ Omega asked. Rouge quickly snuck around Sonic and Mephiles reading, and grabbed the Chaos Emerald from the fridge. She went back to Omega and gave it to him.

"You must store the Chaos Emerald within your chest, and then wait 100 years to give it to Shadow so that he can use it to warp to this time!" Rouge explained.

"_WHA-?"_ Omega said. _"I CANNOT DO THAT!"_

"You have to! You have to remember all the good times you've had with Shadow!"

Omega thought back.

_

* * *

_

FLASHBACK

_Shadow: "Hey Omega! Let's go blow up the Doctors base just for the hell of it!_

_FLASHBACK 2_

_Shadow: Hey Omega, I found this great new place to find some hentai magazines, let's go!"_

_FLASHBACK 3_

_Shadow: "Omega, let's use you maximum destruction program to play a prank on Rouge and blow up her room!"_

_

* * *

_

END FLASHBACKS

"Wait… THAT WAS YOU WHO BLEW UP MY ROOM!?!?!?" Rouge said angrily.

"_YES. BUT YOU ARE CORRECT… SHADOW IS A TRUE FRIEND! WE MUST RESCUE HIM FROM THE REALLY COOL BUT REALLY DEADLY FUTURE!"_ Omega then snatched the Chaos Emerald from Rouge, and put it inside his protective armor. He waved to Rouge.

"_FAREWELL, ROUGE!"_ And then, Omega shut himself down, and put his timer to wake him up in 100 years. Rouge smiled, knowing that there was still hope. Tails, who was watching the whole thing, spoke to Rouge.

"Hey Rouge…"

"Yeah?"

"Just a thought… But why didn't you simply teleport to the future using Chaos control?"

Rouge smacked herself upside the head.

_

* * *

_

100 years into the future…

Shadow: "NOOOO!!!! ROUGE NEVER GAVE ME ANY FOOOOOOODDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!"

Suddenly, just as the portal was closing, Elise flew out of it and toppled Shadow over from the impact. Shadow shoved the girl off, and got up.

"Well that was random…" Shadow commented. He helped Elise to her feet and asked "Do you have any food?"

"Uh… No?" Elise said

" WELL #$%!!!!!!!" Shadow cursed. He sighed in annoyance and asked "So what are you doing here?"

"Well… the refrigerator blew up, and I got sent here into the future." Elise shrugged. _Knuckles must have punched the refrigerator again…_ Shadow thought.

"Well, it looks like it's you and me! We have to fight the overwhelming zombie horde all by ourselves!" Shadow said coolly.

"Wha-? This is Sonic!!! There are no Zombies in Sonic!!!"

"Sure there is! I saw it in a Will Smith movie! The guy is from the future, and in the future they try to cure cancer, but fail miserably, and the entire population gets turned into zombies!"

_

* * *

_

Meanwhile in the present…

Sonic: "Why do I get the feeling that someone other than me just broke the fourth wall involving another series?"

* * *

"WTF!?!?! THIS ISN'T THE MOVIE THOUGH!!!!!" Elise cried out. Suddenly, a whole horde of Zombies sprang around the corner, hissed, then charged towards Elise and Shadow.

"Oh no?" Shadow raised his eyebrows. Elise was still baffled when Shadow instantly pulled a machine gun from thin air.

"DIE ZOMBIES!!!!!" he roared, as he charged towards them, with Elise still standing, mouth agape.

_

* * *

_

Meanwhile…

Knuckles awoke. He rubbed his head for a second, then observed his surroundings. He appeared to be at the end of a large line, in a bizarre white place that appeared to be in the sky.

"Next." a voice said. The line moved. Knuckles took a step forward, still wondering where he was. He looked around and noticed a sign sticking out that read: _CONGRADULATIONS! YOU'VE DIED! WELCOME TO SOUL SOCIETY!!!_

"THAT'S RIGHT! SONIC KILLED ME!!!" Knuckles smacked his head. "And now I'm in a weird place called 'Soul Society'!"

* * *

Sonic (looks upwards from reading): "There it is again!!!!"

* * *

Eventually, the line thinned out, and Knuckles was in front. He came up to stern looking man with black hair, white robes, and a sword at his side wearing a nametag saying _Hello! My name is: Byakuya._

"Welcome to Soul society." The man called Byakuya said. "State your cause of death."

"I was uh, killed by my best friends because I accidently blew up the refrigerator trying to open it." Knuckles replied. Byakuya paused.

"Wow. That's just sad." He stated.

"SHUT UP!!!!!!" Knuckles roared. Byakuya wrote some things down on a piece of paper. "So do I get to go back to life?" Knuckles asked.

"No. You must stay here in soul society until we are able to reincarnate you." Byakuya said, still not showing emotion.

"How long will that take?"

"Oh you know… one… two…"

"Days?" Knuckles asked.

"Hundred thousand years." Knuckles's jaw dropped. He was about to plead Byakuya to bring him back to life, but he was interrupted by an inhuman howl.

"Oh #$%." Byakuya said while retaining his emotionless expression. From the east side came a ginourmous toad like black creature with a white mask on.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING?!!?!?!?" Knuckles said, scared.

"A hollow. It is up to the duty of us Soul Reapers to destroy them." Byakuya answered.

"Oh… so you're going to kill it?" Knuckles said relieved; the guy DID look pretty strong…

"Not my shift. I'll let the interns take care of it." He answered. After he spoke, four soul reapers appeared, each with their own unique swords, and attacked the hollow. All four Soul Reaper interns were defeated in an instant.

...

"Well that sucks." Byakuya said monotonously. He turned back to the line. "Next." He said.

"SCREW THIS!" Knuckles ran out of line and up to the frog hollow.

"GRAaAaAaAaAaAa!!!!" The hollow roared at Knuckles.

"DOOR OPENING ATTACK!!!!" Knuckles yelled, and in the same fashion that he opens doors, Knuckles' punch made the hollow explode. The hollow collapse on the ground as more soul Reapers appeared.

"He just killed a class _**A **_hollow by himself!" a short girl with black hair exclaimed.

"Unbelievable!!" a very tall boy with Red hair said, shocked.

"That's right!" Knuckles smiled. "All me baby!"

"You…" the Red haired boy said. "Would you like to become a Soul Reaper!?" Knuckles considered it.

"Yes!" Knuckles said happily.

"Great!" The girl spoke. "My name is Rukia, and his name's Renji…"

_

* * *

_

Meanwhile…

Sonic and Mephiles were still drooling over the Playboy. Tails was repairing the plane, since Sonic told him he couldn't look at the magazine. Suddenly, a shadow fell over the magazine.

"Get away!" Sonic said without looking up. The figure swiped the magazine away. Sonic and Mephiles looked up to see white hedgehog.

"_Silver!"_ Mephiles said.

"Chuck Norris!" Sonic said. They both looked at each other. "I-I mean uh… Silver!" Sonic said.

"Indeed, Sonic the Hedgehog! I have regained my power, and now I'm going to kill you!" Silver got into a fighting stance.

"But why!?" Sonic said. "I've never done anything…" Sonic paused. "…catastrophically bad!"

"Because you are going to release the Flames of Disaster! I must prevent that from happening at all costs!" Silver said. He then noticed Mephiles.

"…Say, don't I know you from somewhere…?"

"_Uh, uh, no you don't!"_

"And how did you know my name?"

_"B-because I um-_

"It's almost like YOR the main bad guy of this crappy movie!" Silver said suspiciously.

_"Uh… LOOK! BLAZE IS STRIPPING!!!!"_

"I'M NOT INTERESTED!!!!" Silver blushed, but turned to look anyway. While he looked, Mephiles used Chaos control to warp out of there.

"Wow, crush on a friend?" Sonic smiled.

"NO!!!!!" Silver turned redder. "Anyway, I must destroy you!" Silver chucked a brick at sonics-

"OW!!! WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU NAIL A BRICK THERE!?!?!!?"

"Cause." Silver said. Then, he pulled out Tails's shovel and Nailed Sonic in the same spot again.

"WTF!?!?! HOW DID YOU GET TAILS' SHOVEL!?!?"

"I'm a kleptomaniac." Silver said.

"Wow." Sonic said, disspointed.

"In fact… my klepto- prowess is so great… THAT I CAN STEAL THINGS WITH MY MIND!!!!" Silver then began to use his powers! Elsewhere…

Gaara: "My sand gourd!"

Train: "My gun!"

Luffy: "My hat!"

Asuna: "My sword!"

Tsuna: "My gloves!"

Byakuya (still emotionless): "My Zanpakuto." Renji stared at Byakuya.

"Doesn't it bother you AT ALL that your sword was just STOLEN!?"

"Can't say. Don't have any emotions."

All these objects and more were taken from all the other anime series, and Silver made them all hover around the sky.

"Behold! My power!" Silver said.

"**DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU JUST DID."** Sonic said in a demented voice.

"Uh… got other objects so that I can beat you?" Silver replied.

"YOU JUST MADE SEVERAL DOZEN ANIME REFERENCES!!!!! THAT'S MY JOB!!!!!" Sonic said angrily. "PREPARE TO DIE!!! I'M GOING TO BEAT YOU UP WORSE THAN WHAT ZERO DID TO RIDO KURAN!!!!!"

* * *

And… that's the chapter!

Silver made Sonic mad by making several dozen anime references…

Who's going to win?!?!

What became of Knuckles?!

Is Shadow beating the zombie horde!?

Where did Mephiles go!?

AND WHEN THE HELL IS BIOSHOCK TWO COMING OUT?!!?

Find out all this and more on the next episode of- Dragonball ZEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Sonic: "STOP MAKING REFERENCES!!!!"


	7. Sonic DA hedgehog movie: pt 3

Part three: Back to the futuristic past in the present of a different time

_

* * *

_

Meanwhile in the future…

"DIE ZOMBIEEEEEEESSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!" Shadow leapt up with his machine gun and shot what had to be a least the fifth zombie horde that they came across. He shot each and every one of them, and the zombies exploded. After Shadow shot all the zombies, no more dead people came, so Shadow went back to Elise, waiting for the next horde to arrive.

"…" Elise said. "Why the crap are there ZOMBIES in this story!?!?!?!"

"Who cares." Shadow replied bluntly. "Anyway… this is getting boring. We have to escape from here and figure out what happened, and why this future is so deadly (but really cool looking)."

"You!!! Did you defeat the zombie horde!?!?" a new voice said. Elise and Shadow turned around to face a female gray cat in a purple jacket.

"Hello." Elise said politely.

"Greetings." The figure replied. "My name is Blaze the cat."

"…Why?" Elise asked.

"Because I can control fire!" Blaze said proudly.

"…That makes no sense…" Elise said.

Blaze: "Uh…"

Shadow: "She gets like that."

Blaze: "Ah." She turned to face Shadow. "You at least seem like an intelligent person."

"Wanna play strip poker?" Shadow asked, a grin spread across his face, card in hand. Blaze slapped him, and Shadow let out a small cry of pain.

"Did you defeat the zombie horde? And who are you anyway?"

"My name is Shadow. And yeah, I defeated the Zombie horde with my machine gun."

"Where did you get the machine gun???" Blaze asked, eying Shadow's massive weapon.

"You know how some people have Hammerspace?" Blaze nodded her head up and down. "Well, I have Machinegunspace!" Shadow proclaimed. Blaze sweatdropped.

"…Okay… Anyway! We must get out of here before The Zombie King arrives!" As if on cue (and by the way, it IS) a giant roar resonated in their ears. Fearful, Shadow and Elise followed Blaze back to her lair, an abandoned apartment building.

"This is where I live. And my partner too…"

"We came from the past." Shadow interrupted. "I need a Chaos Emerald to get us back. Know where I can find one?"

"Well, we DID have one…" Blaze began. "But then my partner, an idiot named Silver, took the Emerald, said something about an Iblis trigger, and teleported himself to the past." Blaze said bitterly. "The idiot. He forgot to take ME with him!!!!!" Blaze said angrily, fire coming out of her body.

"Aw man, he's your boyfriend, isn't he!?!?" Shadow said, disappointed.

"WHAWHAWHA?!!?!? NO!!!!!!!" Blaze said nervously.

"DAMMIT! MY LUCK WITH WOMEN IS SO BAD!!!!!" Shadow cursed.

"Excuse me, I'm still here…" Elise piped up. Shadow and Blaze stared at the teenage girl.

"No one cares." He said. "Anyway, what's going on here? Why is the future (which by the way looks really cool) ruined?!?!" Shadow asked the anthropomorphic cat.

"It all started a long time ago…" Blaze began. "In your time, a creature is released. Its name is Iblis, and it is the also the Zombie King! It killed everybody, and then turned them into zombies. Silver and I are the only ones left."

"How does it get released?" Shadow asked.

"Some girl named Elise. The monster was sealed away in her, and it can only be released if she cries." Shadow looked at Elise.

"…Now that you mention it, there IS a monster inside of me!" Elise remembered.

_

* * *

_

FLASHBACK

"Happy birthday daughter!" a man said to his fiver year old girl.

"Yay! Thank you daddy!" Elise smiled.

"By the way, never cry." The man said.

"Why?"

"Because if you do, a giant monster will be released, and it will create zombies and destroy the entire world and serve as a plotline for a stupid fanfiction!" The man said.

Elise stared.

"Anyway, I got you a bike!"

"But I wanted Barbie…" Elise whined.

"YOU'LL RIDE YOR BIKE AND YOU'LL LIKE IT!!!!!!"

_

* * *

_

END FLASHBACK.

"So, Elise must cry and release the Zombie King!" Shadow deduced.

"Elise, never cry." Blaze said.

"I won't. Don't worry." Elise saluted. Blaze paced around.

"Now then… We need to get you two in the past to tell Silver to help me defeat Iblis." Blaze said. "The question is, how?"

"Hmm..." They wondered aloud.

"Can we make a time machine?" Shadow asked.

"Nah, we don't have enough cheese." Blaze replied.

"CHEESE!?" Elise cried out in confusion.

"It is critical for traveling back in time." Blaze said logically.

"Wait!" Shadow said. "I know how to get the cheese!"

"You do!?" Blaze asked.

"Omega! Rouge probably told him to wait one hundred years, and she put cheese in his stomach because it will help us travel back in time! We just have to find him!" Shadow exclaimed.

"How do you know that?" Elise asked.

"Cause I read chapter six." Shadow replied smartly. "Let's roll!" And so, the three set off to find Omega…"

* * *

"…Got any twos'?" Sonic asked. He and Silver sat adjacent to each other playing a game of go fish.

"Yeah…" Silver said sadly. He gave Sonic the card in his hand.

"Yes!" Sonic said happily. Sonic grabbed the card and was about to pair it with the Two in his hand, but then he realized all four of his cards were gone.

"Wha-?" Sonic said, surprised. "Where did all my cards go?" He wondered aloud.

"I don't know." Silver replied, examining the nine cards he had. "Hey, got any two's?" Silver asked.

"…You stole them." Sonic said bluntly. Silver looked at Sonic, and then the cards in his hand.

"…Oops…stupid klepto powers…" Silver cursed. Both Sonic and Silver suddenly remembered something.

"Weren't we supposed to be fighting?" Sonic asked.

"Uh… THAT'S RIGHT!!!" Silver remembered. Silver used his uber klepto powers to levitate and steal all the surrounding objects in the area. He soon had a number of objects in the surrounding air field.

"I shall defeat you! And then the fames of Disaster won't happen!" Silver pointed angrily at Sonic. Sonic stared at him, confused.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Sonic shook his head. "But if you want to fight, then we'll fight!" Sonic instantly zoomed at lighting speed and punched Silver in the face. The Kleptomaniac hedgehog got back up and levitated the objects at blinding speed towards Sonic…

_

* * *

_

SOUL SOCIETY

"GrRrRrRrRrRrRaAaAaAaA!!!!!!" The hollow bellowed. It was instantly sliced in two by Knuckles. Knuckles was now wearing a Shingami outfit, and had a massive Zanpakuto that rivaled Ichigo's in size.

"Hah! I win!" Knuckles declared triumphantly.

"Good job, new recruit!" Renji congratulated.

"Indeed." Byakuya said, still emotionless.

"Hey, I have a question…" Knuckles began. "Can my sword get more powerful?"

"Yes. There is one way…" Rukia nodded. "Bankai."

"Bankai? Is that a type of Japanese food?" Knuckles asked.

"…Yes. Bankai is when your sword changes into Japanese themed food…" Renji said sarcastically.

"REALLY?"

"No."

"Darn! I'm hungry!"

"Wait- How can you be hungry!?!? You're DEAD!!!!" Rukia exasperated.

"Are there any hot dogs around here?"

Rukia, Renji and Byakuya fell down anime style. They got back up shortly.

"…Anyway, Bankai is the second release of a zanpakuto." Rukia explained. "It is about three to ten times more powerful than a regular zanpakuto."

"W0h." Knuckles said, misspelling the word in his awe. He then began to think to himself.

_If I can master Bankai… Then I could defeat Sonic! And then I'll be the main character! YEAH!!!!!!_

"How can I get to it!?" Knuckles demanded.

"It usually takes thousands of years to master Bankai…" Renji said, holding his hand up to his chin. He paused for a moment. "However… There IS one way to speed up the process…"

"Tell me!"

"We must… ask the random cat lady to train you!" Renji declared.

"Random cat lady?"

"Meow…" Yoruichi suddenly appeared. "Did I hear someone wanting to train to master Bankai?"

"IT'S THE RANDOM CAT LADY!!!!!" Renji said, shocked.

"…Yoruichi." The random cat lady rolled her eyes.

"Random cat lady- please train me to master Bankai! I have to be the main character of this series!" Knuckles pleaded.

"First of all, may name is Yoruichi. Second of all, sure, why not?"

"YAY!" Knuckles said happily.

"However it will be very painful and bloody." Yoruichi stated.

"Aw man…" Knuckles started to sweat. "Do I at least get a training montage?"

"No."

"Damn."

And with that, Knuckles walked to the random cat lady's house to master Bankai…

_

* * *

_

SHADOW, BLAZE AND THAT ONE REALLY ANNOYING GIRL WHO'S NAME I FORGET.

After battling horde upon horde of zombies and chickens (long story on that one…), Shadow Blaze and Elise arrived at a clearing.

"Okay…" Blaze pondered. "If I were Rouge, and sent a robot to the future, where would I hide it…?" She narrowed her eyes in thought.

"I know where it is!" Shadow suddenly realized. He took a few steps into the open. "In the refrigerator!!!!" He exclaimed, pointing to the refrigerator. Shadow opened the refrigerator and Omega was inside of it.

"WHAT THE CRAP!?!?!?!" Elise exclaimed. "Why the hell would a robot be inside a refrigerator??!"

"Duh. Where else would you keep the cheese?" Shadow rolled his eyes. He pulled out Omega, some ice on his body, and tried to reboot him.

"Wait a minute!" Blaze suddenly realized. "How the hell did refrigerator keep the cheese cold for a hundred years!?!?! It's not even plugged in!!!!" Blaze said, holding up the plug to the fridge.

"Who cares." was Shadows's response. He hit Omega a few times. "C'mon… wake up… wake up…"

Suddenly, a loud beep was heard from inside Omega. The robots eyes began to flutter open, and soon he was awake.

"Omega?" Shadow asked to see if he had rebooted.

"_SHADOW! SO GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN AFTER 100 YEARS OF HIBERNATION!" _Omega reached into his chest armor.

"_I HAVE SOMETHING TO HELP YOU RETURN TO THE PAST!" _Omega found the Chaos Emerald, and handed it to Shadow.

Shadow: "…"

Shadow: "DAMMIT ROUGE!!!!! WHY THE HELL DDN'T YOU SEND US CHEESE!?!?!?!" He cried in rage "NOW WE'LL NEVER GET TO THE PAST!!!!"

Everyone around him sweatdropped. Shadow paused, still glaring angrily at the emerald, but then he finally realized that it was a CHAOS FREAKING EMERALD.

"Oh." Shadow said simply as everyone around him sweatdropped even further. "Okay, let's go to the past, Omega!"

"What about me?" Elise asked.

"What ABOUT you?" Shadow sneered. "Okay fine, you can come to the past with us."

"Oh, and when you get there please tell Silver to GET HIS $$ BACK HERE!!!!!!!!" Blaze said angrily. Everyone cowered in fear. Shadow meekly held up the chaos emerald, and teleported everyone to the past. Blaze stood there, alone.

"Well, I suppose that I'd better fight of the endless zombie invasion… Nothing better to do…" Blaze shrugged. She walked away when someone gagged her and tied rope around her in a movement described as super human. Muffled and tied up, blaze could only struggle as her captor smiled.

"_And now for my evil plan to commence… ufufu…"_

* * *

_THE PRESENT WITH SONIC AND THE KLEPTO!_

"Do you give up?" Sonic smirked. He had just kicked Silvers a55 for the fiftieth time that fight. Silver, who was beaten, struggled to get back on his feet.

"And now for my final move… SHINIGAMI CHOP!!!!" Sonic chopped Silver upside the head and slammed him back into the ground.

"YOU TOTALLY STOLE THAT LINE!!!" Silver said in rage.

"So? I win, and there's nothing you can do about i-

Suddenly, Sonic got hit by a blazing white light that impacted him at such a high speed that it struck every point in his body. When the light vanished, Sonic fell down, covered in bruises.

Silver: "…I don't know what just happened, but I think I WON!!!"

* * *

_MEANWHILE…_

"No, no!" The random cat lady said to Knuckles. "You must NEVER fire a level 99 kido at the earth! It could damage someone!" She scolded. Knuckles looked at his hand, some smoke pouring out of it. He looked down at the Earth.

"…Oops." Was all he had to say.

Sonic, now clearly damaged beyond belief, managed to lift his head off the ground.

"For some reason, I now have the irresistible urge to kill Knuckles. AGAIN…" Sonic said painfully. Silver marched up to him, smirk on his face.

"You cannot win now, Sonic." Silver smirked. "It is time to kill you, and put and end to the flames of disaster…"

Silver held up his hand to deliver the final blow onto Sonic.

When suddenly a wormhole opened in the space-time continuum and Shadow, Elise and Omega stumbled out of it.

"You. Me. Now." Shadow said to Silver. He flung Silver into the portal before Silver could kill Sonic,. Much to the latters's dismay

"Shadow!" Rouge said happily. "I was so worried-

"Bye." Shadow hopped back into the portal before Rouge could finish her sentence. The portal closed as Rouge stood, dumbstruck.

"I'M GOING TO KILL THAT IDIOT!!!!!!!!" Rouge screamed in anger.

"I thought you were in love with him?" Tails said innocently.

"SH-SHUT UP! I AM SO NOT!!!" Rouge said, her red face and her mouth saying two different things. Elise walked over to Tails.

"Do these things ALWAYS happen with you guys?" She asked, nervously shifting her eyes for more danger.

"Pretty much." Tails shrugged. They both went over to Sonic, who looked like Sh** that got trampled on, smashed, eaten and then thrown up. Tails and Elise grimaced at the sight.

"Oh well, he's been through worse and lived." Tails shrugged. Elise paused and looked at the orange fox.

"Really?"

"No. He's probably dead."

"Mrmrmgrmrgrmmrmrmr…" Sonic said from below them.

"Wait! I think he's alive!" Tails exclaimed. He leaned over to where Sonic's mouth used to be. "Say that again Sonic!" Tails asked.

"Mrmrmgrmrgrmmrmrmr…" Sonic repeated. Tails stood upright.

"He says that he needs a can of soda to feel better." Tails pointed in the air he ran over to the fridge and got a soda that said "200 percent caffeine" on it. Elise's jaw dropped.

"What!?!?! How could soda possibly-

Sonic drank the soda and instantly became revived.

Elise's jaw dropped even further.

"Grr…I would have won too!" Sonic said angrily, kicking the air. "I don't know how or why- but I know that Knuckles is to blame for my defeat!"

"Okay…" Tails said, unsure of Sonic's judgment.

"By the way..." Sonic paused. "Where did Shadow and Silver go?"

* * *

_DUNDUNDUUUUUUUN!!!!!!!!!_

"HEY! I WAS FIGHTING!!!!" Silver said angrily to Shadow as they zoomed with the timestream. "What the hell did you take me for?!?!"

"No reason." Shadow shrugged. "Hey, wanna go see the women's bathhouse?" He asked, perverted grin on his face.

"HOW IS IT THAT YOU ARE SO PERVERTED!?!?!?" Silver exasperated. They suddenly arrived on the ground somewhere on earth. The portal disappeared.

"Hey, is that Blaze!?" Shadow said, straining his eyes to see.

"I'M NOT INTERESTED!!!!!!" Silver exclaimed, but turned to look anyway. What they saw was not Blaze, or any nude women. In fact, they weren't even at a bathhouse. They were in some sort of laboratory…

"I know this place…" Silver realized. He looked around. "This is the place where they tried to inact 'project Solaris'. But then something happened, and they all got destroyed…"

"No wait, that's not Blaze…" Shadow said, eyes narrowed at a distance object. "That's just a giant sun thing emitting an infinite amount of energy." Shadow said.

"Let's go see." Silver demanded. "I need to know what happened here."

"Tch, fine…" He walked along with Silver to the Solaris thingy, disappointed that there were no hott babes around. They soon got up to it, a radiating ball of energy.

"Impressive…" Silver acknowledged.

"Eh, I've seen better." Shadow shrugged. Silver stared at Shadow.

"At last!" a voice rang out. They turned their heads to see the king of Solaenna, Elise's dad. "We have finally conquered Solaris! Now we can power this city for years on end!"

_**BEEP!!! BEEP!!! BEEP!!!**_

A warning alarm ran out, and the flame sphere shook in instability. The king became nervous.

"Wha-What's going on here!?" He demanded. One of his scientists ran up to him, equally scared.

"Sir! It appears as though one of our interns was trying to play Tetris on the main supercomputer, and it crashed due to trying to activate such a complicated program!" The scientist answered.

"Uh oh…" The king said nervously. Suddenly, a flame shot from the sphere, and molded itself to form a strange being.

"_Haha! I am Mephiles the Dark, and I will rule the world and stuff!" _The being cackled. It hovered above them as every stared in shock.

"No way! That guy I met earlier IS the evil bad guy in this story!" Silver pointed. Shadow's eyebrows arched.

"Wait, you saw this guy before?" Shadow asked. Silver tapped his finger nervously.

"Yeah… He told me that killing Sonic would prevent the rise of the zombie king…" Silver said. Shadow fell down anime style, saying something along the lines of 'AND YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVED HIM!?!?'. Silver sweatdropped.

"_And now it's time to conquer the world!"_ Mephiles laughed. The king of Soleanna stared long and hard as the dark being as it randomly destroyed everything in its path.

"There is no other option. I shall seal it in this scepter!" The king held up his scepter, and Mephiles was whisked away into it. The scepter turned black, and the deed was done.

"Good job sir! Those sealing scepters DO come in handy!" The scientist from before commented. "But what about the zombie king?" The scientist pointed to a large red thingy that roared and snarled.

"There is only one solution. I shall seal it inside my own offspring…" The king pointed to Elise, who somehow got there.

"Won't that be a copyright infringement on Naruto?" The scientist asked.

"Who cares."

And with that said and done, the King of Soleanna used the Reaper DETH Seal Jutsu to seal the Beast within Elise. And then he died because Masashi Kishimoto found out and had the Akatsuki murder him.

"Oh by the way, Blaze said to go back to the future." Shadow remembered, telling Silver. The white hedgehog nodded his head.

"Very well. And with this information I have obtained, I will set things back to its proper course." Siler said dramatically. He used the Chaos Emerald to teleport to the future. Shadow stood in an empty room, looking around.

"Well, I'd better get to the present…"

Shadow then realized that Silver had taken the only Chaos Emerald and had inadvertently had him stranded in the distant past without food or water or women.

"THAT ***ING BASTAR-

* * *

_WE INTERUPPT SHADOW'S CUSSING TO BRING YOU INTO THE FUTURE!_

A portal in the space-time continuum opened up atop a ruined building. Out from the portal stepped Silver, now brimming with confidence and the knowledge of what must be done.

"SILVER!!" A voice shrieked. Silver's head whipped around and saw Blaze tied up on the opposite side of the building, with Mephiles holding the ropes.

"Blaze!" Silver screamed.

"_Haha you fool! I now have you girlfriend trapped!!!" _

"S/HE'S NOT MY BOY/GIRLFRIEND!!!!" Blaze and Silver screamed, faces already turning red at the mere mention.

"_Whatever! The point is, is that you must do whatever I say or else Blaze will be tortured!"_ Mephiles cackled with pure evil.

That is, until he looked over at Silver and saw him untying Blaze and helping her up.

"…_Stupid Kelpto powers!" _Mephiles said in rage. They both stood, side by side, ready to defeat the evil being once and for all. Mephiles's eyes narrowed.

"_Zombie king!" _He called. The zombie king was summoned, and it roared in all of its mightyness. Blaze and Silver did not flinch.

"It's about time you came back." Blaze commented.

"Sorry…" Silver said. "Anyway, I know what we must do! We have to defeat Mephiles and the zombie king!"

"It won't be easy…" Blaze said, holding up her hand. Her hand became lit on fire. "But let's give it our all." The pair charged at the Mephiles and the zombie king, not expecting to come back alive…

Suddenly a blazing white light came from the sky and obliterated the zombie king And Mephiles in a single shot, leaving both of them completely powerless.

Blaze: "…"

Silver: "…"

Silver: "…I don't know what just happened…"

"But I think we won…" Blaze finished, observing the now dead zombie king and extremely maimed Mephiles.

* * *

_MEANWHILE IN SOUL SOCIETY_

Yoruichi: "What did just say about firing level 99 kidos!?!?!"

Knuckles: "…Sorry random cat lady…

Yoruichi: "MY NAME IS YOUICHI!!!"

* * *

"And now to defeat you, Mephiles!" Blaze declared. She garbbed said being of darkness by the neck and pressed him against a wall. However, instead of pleading with them, Mephiles began to laugh.

"_You fools! I cannot possibly be killed! I am immortal, and I will eventually regenerate whatever injury that you make!" _Mephiles cackled with evil.

"That's why I'm going to seal you." Blaze said.

"_WHAT?"_

"WHAT?" Silver said, eyes wide open. "But how- the zombie king destroyed all the sealing scepters!" Blaze closed her eyes in deep thought.

"I am going to sacrifice myself in order to seal him away." Blaze said, sadness in her eyes.

"WHAWHAWHAWHAWHAT?!?!?!" Silver exasperated. "YOUYOUCAN'T DO THAT!!!!" Silver pleaded.

"I have no choice." Blaze smiled, full of agony. "It's the only way. You know it."

"YOU'RE ALWAYS LIKE THIS!!!!" Silver said angrily. Blaze stared. And then-

"WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?"

"YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO DO WHAT'S RIGHT!!!! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!?!?"

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!!!!!! I'M TRYING TO SAVE OUR FREAKING WORLD!!!!!

"WELL MAYBE THE WORLD DOESENT CARE WHETHER YOU SAVE IT OR NOT!!!! HUH!?!?! EVER THINK OF THAT?!?!?!

"WHAT THE HELL KINDA LOGIC IS THAT!??!!??!" Blaze retorted angrily. The two went at each other, with Mephiles looking back and forth, enjoying the show. Between insults, Blaze's grip on Mephiles loosened. Mephiles questly slipped out of her grasp, and stood beside her. Seeing as how he wasn't noticed by either of the two, he silently slipped away…

"WELL YOU STILL HAD A TEDDY BEAR AT AGE FIFTEEN!!"

"WELL YOU HAD BAD ACRE AT AGE ELEVEN!!"

"WELL YOU WERE THE ONE WHO KEPT ME WORRIED WHEN YOU WENT TO THE PAT WITHOUT TELLING ME!!!!!"

"WELL WHY SHOULD YOU EVEN CARE!?!?!?!"

"WELL MAYBE IT'S 'CAUSE I LOVE YOU!!!!" Blaze screamed angrily.

"WELL MAYBE I LOVE YOU BACK!!!!" Silver screamed in Blaze's ears. After a brief and intense streadown, the two kissed each in the lips. After a ew moments, they broke up.

"What were we fighting about again?" Silver asked, holding Blaze in his arms.

"Who cares." The two embraced. After that, Blaze forcefully parted with Silver. "I'm sorry Silver- it must be done." Blaze said sadly, back turned to the white hedgehog.

"I will always love you." Silver said, a tear sliding down his face.

"You too." Blaze said, a tear of her face as well. "And now, I must sacrifice myself to seal Mephile-

The two paused as they realized that Mephiles was nowhere in sight.

"…Where did Mephiles go…?"

* * *

And that's the end for now!

Where did Mephiles go!?!

What will Shadow do now that he's trapped in the past?!!?

What will Sonic and co. do now that they have Elise!??!

Will Knuckles master Bankai!??!

Why am I asking YOU all these questions?!?!

Fing out all of this and more on the FINAL chapter of Sonic DA Hedgehog!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A/N: Mephiles speech isn't working... for some reason, some parts won't underline. So sorry, it's not my fault.


End file.
